.

Snafu Update New Domain Name

2011-07-26T02:46:00.000-07:00

Hey everyone just a quick update on the new site. I got a new domain name for the site so if you want to check it out you can find it by visiting this link below. I've got a couple posts on there now and getting a lot of the bugs fixed up. It's not 100% but it's getting there.

The Snafu Report

New Video And A Look At The New SNAFU Report

2011-07-23T20:33:00.000-07:00

It's been forever since I last posted on here. As I mentioned in my last post everything is getting moved over to a new website. I've finally had some time to actually get things started and now have something that is starting to look like..........well something. I'm still working out a lot of bugs and have to add a shit load of stuff but I wanted to give you guys a look at what I've got already. That way if you think it looks like shit or you have any suggestions it's easier to do it now rather then when everything is 100 percent.

I also have a new video out finally. This one is to my all time favorite movie Falling Down which is on the new site as well and you can watch it there in all it's glory.

I'll also be adding links in the next day or two so if you haven't already and you want your link added to the new site you can either drop a comment here or the website. I also ask that if you want to keep following my antics you link the new site to yours, I'm only going to be posting a couple more times on here to let you know about any updates and then it's finished. I'm not going to delete it but I won't be doing anything to it.

And finally you've probably heard about Google+ it's a new social network thingy like Facebook only a little different and no fucking needle dick Zucin or Zeppelin, or however you say his last name. If you haven't it's brand new and still in testing and you can only get on it right now by invitation only. Fortunately I got an invite so I can invite anyone who would like to be added to this new site. It's through email only until it goes public so if you want on there send me an email and I'll send you an invite.

Here's the link to the new SNAFU Report let me know what you think

Big Changes Coming To The SNAFU Report

2011-06-28T20:34:00.000-07:00

So I haven't written on here for awhile, and no the rumours about me and the goat are completely false. But I do have something I need to get out there.........I'm going to be shutting this blog down.

I'm going to be shutting this blog down because I'm going to turn it into a website. I think the time has come to expand this little shinanigan into something more then what it could ever be as a blog. This won't be happening for a little while so I'll still post on here now and then but if all goes well it should hopefully be up and running in a month or two. I'm not sure how things are going to look just yet, I just started playing with templates and design ideas and all that magical shit.

So all that being said I do have a favor to ask. I need feedback lots of feedback. I want to know what you would like to see on the new site, everything from how the site should look, how I can improve it what I shouldn't bring over from the blog, even the fucking colors and stuff. The more feedback the better I can make the site.

As the site is getting put together I'll post updates to give you an idea what to expect. Also let me know between now and before the new site is launched if you would like your link added to it.

And that's all I have to say about that

WTF Vancouver

2011-06-17T00:11:00.000-07:00

Seriously WTF is with the ignorant douche holes of Vancouver? In case you didn't see the news, YouTube or any of the 15 billion social media sites the city of Vancouver decided to have a little riot. Hey fuck it we host a winter games why not burn some shit?

And why did this happen, OVER THE FUCKING STANLEY CUP a fucking trophy because our hockey team didn't win. So instead of being mature and celebrating the fact that the local team (The Vancouver Canucks) broke a steaming pant load of team records, won some trophies, and were rated the number 1 team in the NHL in the regular season decided that flipping cars, looting, and making Canadians and Vancouvorites look like grade a ass bandits was more appropriate.

But you know what makes it even worse? Sure the assholes who caused the riot are scum, and the people who joined in are no fucking better. No what really pisses me off is that surrounding a couple thousand shit turbines was thousands more dumb glassy cock jawed ass wipes standing their like dumb fucking idiots taking pics on their cell phones and crackberries, or worse encouraging those assholes to smash the city apart. And for all the people who go on about it being a small group of anarchists or Americans, or drunken out of town types, yeah that and probably is all very true. But the vast majority of the assholes standing around doing nothing were locals.

What the fuck people? If I was downtown in the thick of it I would be doing what I could to try to stop it, and there were a few who did try to their credit. And to those my hat goes off to you. But for the rest there's no fucking excuse. If your not going to try to do something to stop the bullshit, then clear the fucking streets and let the police deal with the punks and not worry about your stupid ass causing shit.

I am fucking enraged I'm embarrassed and disgusted with this unnecessary bullshit. Way to go Vancouver, way to take all the good things that happened since the winter Olympics and piss it all away. Thanks for making the rest of the world think were a bunch of drunk idiots.

Starsky And Gut

2011-06-07T22:16:00.000-07:00

I saw something today on my morning dog walk that disgusted and pissed me off. As I'm walking the seawall a family was walking towards me, mom, dad and what I assume is their kid unless they stole him or some shit like that but who the fuck am I to say that's wrong. Anyways this kid had to me no more then 12 and gasping for air while clutching his chest.......why BECAUSE HE WAS/IS A DISGUSTING FAT BODY. Now this kid was way the fuck overwieght not just a little chubby like what some kids get before a growth spurt. Not this kid not fucking tubby no fucking way this kid had to be pushing at the lighest 250lbs, which is fine if your like 6,2 and built like a football player, not 5 ft fuck all.

Now I'm not Dr. Phil or some fucking childhood parenting expert.....shit I don't even want kids unless I need a chimney cleaned, but what the fuck is wrong with these fucking parents. Are they too fucking stupid or perhaps too fucking lazy to tell little lard ass to put the fucking Hagen Daz down, get the fuck out of the chair, stop playing Call of Duty or whatever the fuck the kids play, and get outside and fucking exercise.

I'm going to sound like an old man here but what the fuck is wrong with them. When I was a kid growing up on the island I was in the woods all the fucking time. We built forts, explored, hit each other with sticks, and made explosives.......yeah you read that right we made homemade explosives and blew the shit out of stuff, and I was fucking good at it. I wasn't on the fucking X-box eating chocolate bars and sucking up oxygen through my ass all fucking day when it was sunny outside, and I turned out okay..........sorta.

Don't these fucking puke peice of shit parents know that if you let them do this shit now they'll grow up with health problems as adults, not to mention low self esteem, lets face it the ladies don't dig fat dudes unless their wallets are fatter or at least that's how it is here in Vancouver, but that is a tale for another day. Or perhaps it's because these so called parents are too fucking self absorbed with their own pretentious narcissistic bullshit to notice Timmy resemlbes Jabba The Hutt. Perhaps if they got their collective heads out of their fucking asses, put down the crack berry's and took a loot around they would smarten the fuck up.

Perhaps I'm asking for too much.

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Gina Philips

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The Return Of Fuck You Friday

2011-06-03T21:47:00.000-07:00

It's been a long time since I last did fuck you Friday here in my little corner of the universe. I've decided to start doing this again because..........well there is frankly a lot of shit that pisses me the fuck off. Yeah I know I'm a jolly fucking soul full and not bitter in the least (caugh bullshit caugh)

1. Fuck You Blogger

What the fuck Blogger or perhaps Google is the shit turbine in this one. I love the fact that you shit out your new little button (Google Plus 1) and that your new bundle of fucking joy is plastered on every site you control. BUT CAN YOU FUCKING GET YOUR HEAD OUT OF YOUR BOYFREINDS ASS AND FIX THE FUCKING COMMENT SECTION ON BLOGGER SO I AND EVERYONE ELSE CAN FUCKING SEND PROPER COMMENTS YOU DOUCHE BAG. Besides arn't you like a couple years behind on the whole social network scence considering Facebook and Twitter have had their buttons everywhere for ages. Shit even smaller sites like Linkedin have had a sharing or like or whatever the fuck button since 2010.

2. Fuck you to all the fucking tourists who park downstairs where I live and can't fucking part your car. Really your driving a rented fucking Prius the size of my left nut and it takes you 5 minutes to back it into a fucking parking stall the size of Oprah's ass. Do you require a blue hockey helmet and a fucking lunchbox you stupid shits. Learn to fucking drive or buy one of those cars that can park for you, better yet pay someone to bang your wife for you since you probably don't know how to do that either.

3. Fuck you to the yuppy fucks in Yaletown. (Vancouver) Okay ao I'm not rich (probably will never be so fucking what) I don't wear a suit, and I don't try to blow smoke up people's asses takling about stock quotes and how great I am. So don't look down at me like I'm trash. I would love to see you useless shit's actually have to do work that dosen't involve an assistant and corner office and a Starbucks within a block becaues Tim Hortin's is too fucking peasent for you, and you might get germs from the commoners if you stepped in there for a capadipshit or whatever the fuck you drink with your salad.

4. Fuck you to all the tampon companies, you know guys do have to buy this shit for their wives and girlfreinds and in my case roomate once in awhile and it would be fucking wonderful and magical if you could actually label your shit in a manner in which I can fucking understand. WHAT THE FUCK DO THOSE STUPID FUCKING FLOWERS MEAN? Is it so fucking hard to put words on your box saying something like "Hi this box contains 48 tampons your lady freind can shove up her vagina so she won't bleed like a gutted pig all over the place. On and by the way these don't stink and have those fucking fancy wings shit that you can turn into a feild expeidant aircraft and escape the impeding zombie apocalypse with." Is that too much to ask ?

5. Fuck you to the cock knobler who decided that were now going to have a referendum on the HST. (Harmonzed Sales Tax) Wow shit for brains your only half a fucking year too late because it's been going on for that long, and I love paying an extra billion fucking dollars on everything you can buy. Are you going to tax my soul next fuck stick?

6. For all the fuckers who think Vancouver isin't going to win the cup this year I say this FUCK YOU.

7. Fuck you to every pole smoking ass pirate who throws their cigerette butts on the ground. Because I just love having to walk in your filth, or having my dog walk through your filth especially when there are garbage cans and ashtrays everywhere. I also love how you shits bitch all the time about smoking bans or how everybody hates smokers. Well no shit non smokers hate you, because most of you are ignorant pigs. Pick up your fucking butts and put them in the garbage where they belong, or eat them for all I care, but don't leave them on the ground it's disgusting.

There I've said my peice and like taking a giant shit feel more relived and relaxed for doing so

Random Hottie Of This Post

Amanda Tapping

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Copy Cat Update

2011-06-03T01:36:00.000-07:00

A few posts back I mentioned a piece of shit who thought it would be a good idea to steal other people's videos and claim them for himself. Some time has passed and well what can I say the guy is being a complete fucking douche bag. Not only has the guy tried to claim the video is his, but it seems every simgle video on this guys channel isn't his. All he's done is taken the video, sometimes added a picture at the beginning, and then at the end of every video added some religious bullshit about Christians being persecuted and all that pious crap.

Now I don't really care if somebody believes in that sort of thing, hey that's your business. Personally I don't believe in any of it and I really fucking hate when one of these my shit doesn't stink because I pray types thinks that because they read the bible and eat, breathe, and shit Jesus that they get a free license to be a grade a asshole and do what the fuck they please. Sorry douche bag but religion or not that's not excuse to be a dick, and it's definitely no fucking excuse to steal others videos to push your message. And if the guy can figure out how to add video to these videos why the fuck is he not making his own videos to get his message across?

I'm going to post this turds yutube channel url at the bottom of this post. Feel free to flag his video, or better yet leave a message on his channel and tell him what a puke peice of shit he is.

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Diane Lane

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<iframe width="425" height="349" src="http://www.youtube.com/embed/N1-25s4uwFQ?rel=0" frameborder="0" allowfullscreen>iframe>

http://www.youtube.com/user/Handsum36a

Blogger Why Are You Being A Fucking Crack Whore To Me

2011-05-27T21:12:00.000-07:00

Not sure if I'm the only one that this is happening to, but I've noticed recently Bloggers comment section has gone retarded. Not the "Have you seen my baseball" hilarious fucking retarded. No instead it's the drooling " I made poopy in my pantaloons" fucking retarded.......WHICH FUCKING STINKS.

What's been happening is every time I decide to comment and I use my Google account it keeps going back to the log in thingy, even if I'm already logged in. So unless that blog has the option of using you're name and URL I can't comment. Seriously what the fuck is this Mickey Mouse shit Blogger, have I not been good to you. Have I not created several blogs using your site oh I don't know like fucking 8 of them now. Sure only one (this one) I still write on but fuck give me a break.

Perhaps Blogger got wind about me thinking of moving this blog to another blog hosting site or even turn this into a website and got jealous and decided to be a bitch. Perhaps somebody in the upper echelons of Google, since Google practically fucking owns the Universe and will probably start tattooing property of Google on everyones ass decided to fuck with my chi. Perhaps this is an attempt by the government to fuck with my shit before they haul me off to fight martians or some shit like that. Not that I have any problem fighting martians, those slimy fuckers with their tentacles and bug eyes.........assholes. Well not all of them those green skinned women are kinda hot, I could go Captain Kirk on them.....but I'm still going to pull their hair call them a bitch and not return their phone calls afterward.

So in closing Blogger sort your shit out, your acting like a fucking douche canoe and in need of a boot to the testicles.

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Carrie Ann Inaba

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Music To Sooth The Savage Beast

2011-05-26T02:07:00.000-07:00

They say music soothes the savage beast, I'd say that's a pretty true statement If I ever heard on. That's right up with some of the shit Yoda said about paths and the dark side and all that, which is pretty good considering the source is a fucking puke green puppet. But getting all serious and misty eyed and stuff, music plays a huge role in my life. Not because I can play instruments or sing but the ability it has to lift my broken spirit when I feel like giving up. It was music that kept me going when I was re-coursed twice when I was in training in the army. About 40 weeks of boot camp isn't just training its a fucking endurance test to say the least. It was music that got me through years of abuse and the years of aftermath that followed. It was music that kept me from pulling the trigger on my step dad's 306 that was pointed under my chin. And music keeps me going today when I just want to crawl under a table and claw my eyes out to end the pain I feel.

For this post I want to do something a little different rather then bitch or rant about something that pisses me off. Instead I want to share some of the songs that inspire and keep me going. For those who have followed this blog for awhile you might even be a little surprised by the song choices.

Copy Cat

2011-05-23T23:55:00.000-07:00

I was recently looking around YouTube to look for new videos to check out and try to get some ideas for my next fan video which I'm a little stuck on. As I was browsing around I came across a video that was uploaded by some random unknown fucker. The video was a fan video to the Mad Max trilogy using the song We don't need another hero by Tina Turner. I thought to myself "Hey this might not be too fucking bad" and decided to watch it. What I found was that this shit head had uploaded and claimed for himself a video I know he didn't fucking do because it was created by a guy who inspired me to create videos, and a guy I talk to on a regular basis on YouTube.

All this guy did was simple upload the video and add a two second clip of a Mad Max movie poster at the very beginning of the video, apart from that everything was the exact same. The guy didn't even make an attempt to remove the original editors watermark or make any changes to the video. Now what kind of lazy shit smear can't be bothered to make their own videos. I mean for fuck sake's you can splice together a half assed attempt in a half hour if you don't give a shit.

Now I know some fucker is probably thinking "Wolf your a fucking hypocrite you didn't create those videos you posted, you just re edited parts and put music to them. What's the fucking difference?

Well to squash that fucking question to the ground there is a big difference. First obviously I never made Star Wars, or Mad Max or whatever future videos I do. There fan videos meant to show my appreciation to my favorite movies. And yes there made without whatever directors permission but making them is almost a form of advertisement for them, so in a way mine and other fan videos benefit them by getting people thinking about them. Not to mention because of copyright they can place ads on those videos and make money from them where I can't. A big difference from somebody who sees a video they like takes it and claims it as something they made themselves.

Here are the links to the two videos the first is the original created by Neckisstiff, I've shown a lot of his videos on here and there some of my favorites. Check it out and if you have a YouTube account subscribe to his channel. I also told him about the copycat, so hopefully the guy either gives him credit. But if he's a dick I'll post an update so you can flag his video and try to get it pulled from Youtube.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=x8W4DEMUSeM

This is the link to the shit heads video. Notice that apart for the very beginning it's identical.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AWfsbJ6Syzw&feature=fvsr

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Christina Hendricks

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Star Wars Map Of The Problematique

2011-05-08T14:50:00.000-07:00

For this video I wanted to do something to my favorite trilogy Star Wars. And no not the fucking visual cluster fuck that was episode 1, 2, and 3 with that gay salamander Jar Jar Binks and Hayden I can't act worth shit Chritensen (who single handily ruined Vader........fucking asshole). No instead were keeping it old school so I used the original kick ass trilogy.

For this video I used a song called Map of the problematique (hence the title) by Muse. It's a song that if you do some looking on YouTube will find it attached to all manner of fan videos to Star Wars, all of them to the prequels which is another reason why I chose this song.

Anyways hope you enjoy the video, please let me know what you think of it or any suggestions for future videos.

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Carrie Fisher (back in the day)

I Want This Under The Tree For X-Mas

2011-05-07T17:13:00.000-07:00

Okay so it's kinda early to start talking about what I want from Santa, that pinko commie bastard who gave me black socks last year. Black socks are you fucking shitting me cupcakes here? As If I don't already have 10 million pairs of them already. I specifically asked for 100 million dollars in unmarked bills, Lucy Liu, and a gold plated toilet seat and I get socks you dick!

Anyways getting back on target here I figured if I get the word out early maybe that fat fuck and his reindeer will get it right this year. Otherwise I will personally go to the North Pole and fuck him up. Let's see how that fucker makes Timmy a G.I Joe Fortress when I take a golf club to his knee caps, but I'm not angry.

For this year I'm keeping it simple I want a Gepard GM6 Lynx anti material rifle. It is a semi automatic Hungarian .50 cal sniper rifle that bridges the gap between sniper rifle and assault rifle, basically if an M-16 was on leave in Hungary got drunk and did the nasty to a sniper rifle this would be their bastard offspring and who doesn't love bastards? This rifle is designed to take out anything from troops who would become red mist if hit by a round, to light armoured viechles, bunkers, and even helicopters up to 800 meters away. Kinda makes me all misty eyed thinking about what kind of damage this would do to a bus full of pedophiles soaked in kerosene in an open field in the countryside.

I think that sums it up nicley.

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Anna Paquin

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Hurray Hurray The First Of May Osama Bin Laden Was Greased Today

2011-05-01T21:18:00.000-07:00

If you haven`t been paying attention to the news in the last couple of hours that piece of shit Osama Bin Laden ate some lead in Pakistan today and is now worm food. I have to say I`m kinda jealous that I never got the opportunity to put a bullet in that motherfuckers face, and I hope whoever did gets a medal or two for doing it that`s one less scum bag taking up precious oxygen.

I know his death won`t bring back the 155 and counting Canadian soldiers who have died as a result of operations in Afghanistan since 2002, or the thousands of soldiers from NATO and around the world who combat terrorism, but it does.....well at least to me anyway give me the feeling that their lives weren`t in vain.

But warm fuzzy feelings aside let`s not get ahead of ourselves and think that it`s game over. Osama Bitch Laden was a key figure but he`s not the whole enchilada. Those who worshipped that piece of shit will make a martyr of him and many will try to take his place. I`m also positive the bleeding hearts will go off an a tangent about how he should have been captured and brought to trial. Or that the U.S shouldn't`t have gone into Pakistan to get him. To them I simply say this Why the fuck wasn`t Pakistan looking for him if he was hanging out near a mansion catching up on the latest gossip about the royal fucking wedding. Why the fuck were they not stomping his guts out.

Anyways getting back on point I`m glad the fucker is dead, and I hope the rest of them follow a similar fate very soon.

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Hope Dworaczyk

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You Want Me To Spam For You.....Fuck You

2011-04-14T23:26:00.000-07:00

Today I got an email from a site called Infolinks. I you've never heard of this site it's an affiliate advertising website that offer contextual advertisements for your website or blog. These words that are randomly selected within your content and are changed into links. When your mouse scrolls over them a little window above the word pops up displaying and advertisement. If they click on the add you get to make some money. I use this and a few other forms of advertising on my website to try and generate some cash.........hey why the fuck not I figure.

Now I like this site and I'm starting to see my numbers improving, what bothers me is this email. They've created some lame super hero type bullshit character who's suppose to randomly go around to websites and give tips or some shit about how Infolinks can make money for their site.......okay fair enough up to this point. In this email they showed a video (it'll be below) of this character going to none other then Perez Hilton's fucking blog. And wait it gets better still. The computer animated fuck stick starts bag licking about how great the site is and how Infolinks can make Perez a tonne of cash. But here's the best part of the whole fucking deal.....THEY WANT INFOLINKS USERS TO COMMENT ON HIS BLOG AND TELL HIM THAT HE SHOULD SIGN UP TO THIS SITE.

I fucking hate spam, I don't want some fucking glue bag trying to spam shit to me. I've been lucky on this blog so far and have only had two incidents. The first was for some Asian porn site, and while these fuckers must have read my mind since I have a weak spot when it comes to Asian women ( As if the pictures of Lucy Liu weren't an indication ). And after a couple hours of "examining" this site I deleted their comment, it wasn't even that good of a site there are better ones that are free. The second was some dip shit with a blog advertising about bashing women which really pissed me off because I think that's total crap.

So here's a fucking site that wants me and everyone else to send off spam for their benefit, I don't think so. I'm sorry but I'm not going to do it and get people pissed off at me and possibly block future comments from me because I sent them one of these messages. The only reason why there doing this is because they know that if they did it themselves they would get shit on. People remember spam and not in the good way, people would unsubscribe and avoid the site altogether and they would loose money. So instead they insulate themselves and get everyone else to do their bullshit for them.

I'm not going to unsubscribe but I sure as fuck am not going to do this and anybody wanting to use this site to generate income might want to think twice. The video below dosen't show it, but on thier website it cleary shows that they want you to visit this site and leave a comment telling Perez Hilton all about the wonders of Infolinks and all that shit.

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Olivia Wilde

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Charlie Sheen Music Video

2011-04-12T17:42:00.000-07:00

This is just a quick post, I found this video on YouTube and it's been stuck in my head ever since. So I figured it's worth sharing, enjoy.

Guns Guns And More Guns

2011-04-11T01:26:00.000-07:00

A few days ago I read a post over at Psycho Carnival (check the blog roll of you want to visit that blog) about the AA 12 a fully automatic shotgun that can really fuck up your day in a hurry. Now I love guns and things that go boom and all that wonderful stuff that spews hot death. And after reading the post I began to feel a little nostalgic and started thinking about my time in the army and more particularly the weapons I got the shoot, and the shit I got to blow up and get paid for.

So for this post I though I would share some of the toys I got to play with.

C7A1/C7A2

This is the primary weapon of the Canadian infantry, it's bread and butter if you will. The C7 is pretty much identical to the M-16 in almost every way, the A1 that is, the upgraded A2 looks very different. It fires 5.56 x 45 NATO rounds, and in general it's a light and shit simple weapon to use. We also have a more compact version called the C8 which is used by tank crews and I think the navy and JT2 (joint task force 2 which is essentially our special forces)

This is a C7A1 on a firing range in Ontario being fired semi and full auto. The C7A2 has a collapsible stock and some changes near the barrel to allow more attachments.

M203 40mm Grenade Launcher

This is a attachment to the C7 and one of my favorite toys of all. It's a single shot grenade launcher that will fuck up the day of whoever is on firing end of this weapon. Not just that but the added extra couple of pounds actually helps improve the accuracy of the weapon making you that much deadlier. Either way it's good times had by all........well almost all.

These are Americans firing this in Iraq or Afghanistan but we use the exact same weapon.

C9 Light Machine Gun (LMG)

We use two of these per section. A section is similar to an American squad but ours have 10 people per section, makes up about 40 percent of the it's fire power. It uses 5.56 ammo and can use either a 30 round magazine or a 200 round drum. Personally I never cared for using the drums since they had a tendency to get snagged on brush and fall off leaving you with about 200 rounds of ammo dangling off your feet. I always broke mine up into 50 round belts to help control my rate of fire. The standard ammo also comes with tracer rounds which have a magnesium tip that lights up to help you get a good estimate of where your rounds are going. This is a machine gun after all so it's considered an area weapon.

C6 GPMG (General Purpose Machine Gun or Heavy Machine Gun)

I fucking love this gun. It's a Belgium machine gun that fires 7.62 mm ammo and has a range of about 600 meters when fired either from the shoulder or on a bi pod. When fired in an SF role (Stationary fire I think) which uses a tripod and a compass like site it can reach out and hit targets up to about 1800 meters. I saw someone once hit a full grown cow with a burst from one of these and it blew it to fucking pieces........it made me all misty eyed.

This is a C6 set up in a defensive position on a training ex so he's shooting blanks but you get the idea. Also the soldier who filmed this was killed in Afghanistan.

And now for the stuff that goes BOOM

Grenades

What's more fun that a 1 pound metal object you can throw at somebody? a 1 pound object that you can throw at somebody that explodes. If your within about 150 meters of one of these your pretty much going to have a bad day. For those who've never used grenades Hollywood bullshitted you big time. They don't create massive fire balls as this video shows.

M-72 / 84 mm Carl Gustov

This is a one shot disposible rocket launcher that was developed during the Vietnam war. The NVA used to turn the used rocket tubes into morters, they were handy that way. It'snot as powerful as other systems out there but it's still handy for lightly armoured targets.

The Carl Gustov which I don't know where the fuck that name came from is an even bigger rocket launcher used to bust bunkers and heavier targets.

In this video the first rocket launcher is the M-72 the second is the 84 mm Carl Gustov

This is a better view of the 84 mm. Though I have to say these two firing it are kinda fucking slow in their weapons drills which means their probably recruits, but at least their drills are correct.

There are even more that I got to play with but I don't want to make this post into a fucking novel so here's a little summary video with some easy listening music to help get you the right mind set. Cheers

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Brooke Burns

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Scum Bag Criminals

2011-04-07T00:04:00.000-07:00

A couple days ago two little shit smear punks received life sentences. The two teenagers who lived in Victoria (that's on Vancouver island here in Canada for those who don't know) raped, murdered, mutilated, stuffed in a freezer and then burned the remains of a 16 year old girl. Now I'm not going to mention their names or display their pics because frankly seeing or hearing their names disgusts and enrages me. And while I'm very happy these turds have gone to jail, a couple things are leaving a rather bad taste in my mouth.

For starters in Canada a life sentence is 25 years, depending on the judge someone who's convicted can be eligible for parole well before that, and in the case of these two in about 10 years. That's of course if they don't launch an appeal and get a limp dick spineless judge who will give them a lighter sentence. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I doubt these two are going to be that lucky but you never know.

But this isn't what really pisses me the fuck off. It's what the victims are going to have to go through. As if the brutal death of their daughter wasn't bad enough, now if there is an appeal they get to go through that all over again. Given the slow nature of the Canadian legal system this could take years. Not to mention the flood of emotions and greith that will be ripped open when these two are up for parole and the fight to keep these two shits behind bars for as long as possible.

Am I the only one who thinks this is a complete load of bullshit. I understand that in the legal system they have a different way of looking at things. It seems they care more about those who commit the crimes rather then the victims. Sure these two little shits go to jail, sure they loose their freedom, fuck they'll probably be beaten and raped occasionally....but so fucking what they didn't have to do what they did let them fucking rot. No instead they go to jail and have the tax payers pay for their life. No matter how bad prison is for them they still get to have some semblance of a life. The girl they killed doesn't even get that. Because of what they did her family didn't even get to have an open casket funeral to say goodbye, instead they burned her body like you or I would burn garbage.

Why do we have to pay for these fucks who are never gong to add anything to society. There not even human fucking beings, there scum. Fuck even one of the kids dad is currently in jail serving a life sentence for a similar crime, I bet he's real proud of his piece of shit son maybe they can share a bunk and practice not dropping the soap with each other to pass the time.

I'd write more but I've spend enough time thinking about these pieces of shit that I have a headache and feel sick to my stomach.

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Nut Jobs And Grammer Nazi's

2011-04-01T18:17:00.000-07:00

Today I found a couple of interesting comments I thought I would share with you guys and what I think of each of them. The first one is from Yahoo Answers. For those of you not familiar with this site it's a question and answer site that can be used to help promote your website or your blog. I use it all the time to promote my website The Razors Edge. Normally I tend to stick to the computer and internet related questions, but now and then I like to wander over to the pollitical or religious ones for a good fucking laugh. That's when I found this question/ statement below;

Rejoice believers in Christ!! Is this not something to be heralded?

Last night God spoke to me!! He told me that he still love his children! You are not forgotten and don't lose faith!!!! He graciously told me the the end of times was soon!! He gave me a new list of rules to follow and great wisdom that I wrote down, it was amazing and like a constant epiphany to hear his true voice!!

I've written my own Gospel!! You'll all hear HIS great word soon! He told me so!!

God is good!

Ummmmm okay WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS SHIT? If I was this guys family I would be fucking worried because people like this tend to end up taking a fucking axe to their heads in the middle of the night because God turns out to be some demonic fucking dog telling them to "purify the world of sin" or some shit like that. Naturally this means that said nut job has to hack anyone and everyone who happens to be unlucky enough into tiny bit sized chunks.

And besides that I really fucking doubt that if God exists ( and I have serious doubts that there is a God but fuck it that's just my two cents on the issue) that they would waste their fucking time telling some insignificant butt wipe like this turd? I mean think about it let's say hypothetically that there is a God who created the entire fucking universe and every little thing in it. The universe last time I checked is pretty fucking huge and probably teeming full of aliens of every shape, size, and color. Why the fuck with all that going on would he/she/it talk to any one of us. That's like being in the middle of taking a shit but stopping everything to whisper poetry to a housefly........doesn't make any fucking sense.

And lastly if this was the case why the fuck are you wasting time telling people on Yahoo Answers who only want to find out what some celebrity shit head is doing, or asking stupid questions that they should know the answer to like "If I stick a fork in an electrical socket will I get a shocked? And will I get super powers from this?" NO YOU SHIT STAIN YOU WON'T GET SUPER FUCKING POWERS APART FROM BEING THE STUPIDEST FUCK ALIVE.

If this was true why the fuck isn't this sack of hammers on his way to the Vatican to tell the fucking pope?

The second was a comment posted today on a blog called Two Foul Mouthed Fuckers. Those of you who remember this blog will know that this was a joint blog between myself and CB ( The Crazy Brunette Chick ) who is no longer blogging. Because of this, that particular blog is now collecting Internet dust........well that was until today. I got a nice little email showing me that someone posted the following comment below;

ResCogitans said...

arrrgh!

you're = you are

your = possessive

x4 wrong in one post. wow.

sorry am a bit OCD grammar nazi and a bit pissed at mo :)

actually no i'm not sorry. if some asshole like me doesn't point out shit then how will people know what they are doing wrong!?

no really sorry. bye.

don't drink on an empty stomach.

ResCogitans...........what kind of retarded name is that to start with. Why the fuck before you comment you take a look at the archive to see that nothing has been posted on this site for months and that the post you commented on is from September of 2010. THIS IS A DEAD BLOG YOU FUCKING TWAT WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU WASTING TIME COMMENTING ON IT??

Also who the fuck are you to go off on small grammar errors, are you the fucking mythical spelling police? Either way shove it up your ass until you can taste the rainbow you fucking sperm dumpster I didn't give a shit if I miss used you're or you are or whatever the fuck. I think it's time you take a serious look at your priorities and refuckulate them to match the real world.

Do you not have something better to do then sit on your ass stuff Doritos down your throat and fucking bitch at me about a minor grammatical error. FUCK YOU, how about you go outside and have a life instead of sitting in your parents basement masturbating to pictures of He-Man, not the 80's movie He-Man starring Dolf Lundren or however you fucking spell his name either. No the animated cartoon He-Man. By the power of Greyskull you annoy the fuck out of me. You don't even deserve to be punched in the face, you deserve to be bitch slapped an spat on.

And that's all I have to say about that. Also don't forget to vote on who you think is the biggest douche bag. You have until April 10th to nominate who you think is the biggest douche bag . And if you haven't yet check out my latest video Robocop So Cold.

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New Video And This One Is About Cyborgs And Stuff

2011-03-30T00:38:00.000-07:00

It's been too fucking long since my last video, so here is my latest one for your viewing pleasure.

For this one I used Robocop 1 and 2 which are a couple of my favorites movies from when I was a kid, possibly because of all the violence and blood and good times had by all. Not to mention there is hardly any fucking good Robocop videos on YouTube, this is seriously fucking wrong on so many levels. I mean for fucks sake this movie is epic. How many other movies does somebody get literally blown to shit in such a violent way only to be brought back as a bad ass cyborg super I will fuck your shit up cop. If I ever find myself in a situation like that I would want to come back just like this.........well as long as I still had everything below, I mean how the fuck am I suppose to fuck toasters and waffle irons without that?

Anyways the song I chose was So Cold by the band Breaking Benjamin and was inspired by the movie 28 Days Later. Listen to the lyrics and you can totally hear the references relating to zombies which is why I like this song.

Anyways hope you like it and let me know what you think in the comment section below. If you haven't seen my other videos I have most of them posted on the videos page of this blog. You can also go to my YouTube channel ( snakeeyesx1vp ) to see them there.

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Here are a couple other completly random videos I thought you might enjoy as well

1st Annual Douche Bag Awards

2011-03-21T23:21:00.000-07:00

This month marks the 1 year anniversary of this fine little blog of mine. I mean fuck can you believe it's been a year, though I'm positive this event will be a milestone in human history. First we discovered fire, then split the atom, and now this blog......okay that's just a tab bit grandiose but you get the drift.

To celebrate this anniversary I will not do the following

1. I will not give you fuckers money, sorry what can I say I'm a cheap asshole deal with it.

2. I will not give away shit, again refer to number 1

3. I will not engage or, or have engaged on me sexual relations with farm animals. However mythological creatures are acceptable. Besides unicorns are fucking sexy, or at least a donkey painted white with a carrot glued to their forehead.

What I will be doing is something a little different, the first annual Douche Bag Awards. How it works is like this. Below will be a bunch of categories (kinda like the Oscars but without the fake transparent bullshit) those who win well get a lovely award, well not really an award per say more like a nice half soaked piece of paper I found in a dumpster and I'll scribble something on it in crayon. This will then be rolled into a fine little scroll and sealed in whatever sticky substance I can find on the street to be delivered to the shit stain who deserves such a grandiose fucking award.

On top of that I won't be doing the nominations, I leave that up to you guys. Leave in the comments who you think deserves what award and who ever is nominated the most wins.

And The Categories Are

1. Most likely a coked out transvestite

2. Probably a nice guy but I still want to punch him in the nuts

3. Deserves to be fed feet first into a wood chipper

4. If I hear this bitch one more time I will start a shooting spree in a fucking mall

5. Please eat shit and die as fast as humanly possible, I mean seriously I will pay you to stop traffic with your face

6. The worlds biggest oxygen thief

7. This bitch needs to shut the fuck up and make me a sandwich

8. The poster child for abortion

9. It's because of this person I drink

10. Why were you born ?

11. Will the mother ship please pick you the fuck up already

12. Shut your fucking face already

13. Sure your famous now but in a couple of years you'll be living in a dumpster giving hand jobs for crack

And finally

14. The world's biggest douche bag

Leave in the comment section below who you think deserves what. Leave as many comments as you want and pass the word I want to see a shit load of suggestions. I'll post who won what by April 10th so that gives you lots of time to nominate whichever skid mark you think deserves this.

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Tourist Stuff

2011-03-13T18:29:00.000-07:00

If your wondering where I've been for the last week I've been spending some time in Cabo San Lucas Mexico, soaking up some sun, and comsuming my fair shair of Tequila. (You would be too if you looked at some of the deals for hotels and airfare online before spring break it was fucking dirt cheap)

Now Cabo was fucking outstanding, the hotel staff were fanfuckingtastic, the weather was fucking outstanding and hot, and the booze went down smoother then a well trained escort (Or so I've been told at least). But while everthing on the Mexican side of things was great there was one thing that irratated the shit out of me... THE TOURISTS. For my entire stay the hotel has been filled with just Canadians and Americans and I have to say there were thngs both groups did that made me shake my head and ask "What the fuck is wrong with these ass tards?"

Don't get me wrong there was some people who I met who were pretty fucking on the level, but it seemed as if both counties shipped every possible asshole, fuck tard, reject, and dumb ignorant fuck it could to get some breathing space for a week or two. So I thought I would put it all into a nice neat little list of stupid ignorant shit you should not do, say or ask when you go on your next vacation.

First The Canadians

1. To you fucking flakey weird fucks from Toronto WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU. Every one of you that I met down here was fucking off hinged in some way. Either you would give me a look like I was a fucking purple headed alien when I said hi. Or you would bullshit about how fuckng great you are, pretend to be freindly and then fuck off and never speak to me or those I was with again. What the fuck happend to having a normal fucking conversation assholes?

2. To the fucking ass clown who thought he was a big shot (You know who you are with your fucking cowboy hat pretending your from Texas) I don't give a runny shit if your richer then astronauts, in fact nobody fucking cares for that matter. SO quit fucking acting like your God's gift to the world. MInd you I should thank you for one thing, the girl who worked the lobby bar has a nice ass and becuase you were throwing her money left and right I got free reign to stare at it. But for fuck's sake I didn't want to do it sober, let the rest of us get some fucking booze.

3. And last but not least I don't care how fucking nice and polite you are. DOn't come up to me and ask me personel questions about my life, what I do, who I do it with, and how when I've never met you before. Perhaps your lonley and just wanted to talk, and if that's the case you could have simply said "Hello" or "Hi". Of course I would have been way fucking nicer to you if you weren't a 70 year old man. Sorry fucker I don't swing that way.

And Now For The Americans

1. First off read a fucking book, a map, or use the internet once in awhile other then to look at what fucking shit Charlie Sheen is spewing about. (I should point out that not everyt American was this fucking rude just a handful who really got on my nerves) I am not the following

a. A lumberjack
b. A fur trader
c. An Eskimo

I do not live in a fucking igloo and eat fucking seal meat all day while praying for one day without snow so I can fix my fucking dog slead. I know what country music is, I know what Wall-Mart is (we have them too and we hate them just as much as you do). And the reason why I don't say "eh" at the beginning of every sentence ,and "aboot" instead of "about" is becuase I'm not a fucking retard you shit stain. It's a fucking sterotype, sure there are some that do but myself and every one of the thousands of Canadians I know DON'T FUCKING SOUND LIKE THAT.

2. Learn to fucking tip for fucks sake. The staff don't exactly make a shit load of money so one or two dollars here and there isin't going to really hurt you. DON'T BE SO FUCKING CHEAP.

3. I don't fucking care how fucking great you think you are, but when I can hear you brag about what kind of car, stocks, 20 something year old with fake tits your banging because you discovered Viagra, or how many homes you own over the fucking music at the pool it's time to learn to SHUT THE FUCK UP. Nobody but you cares we all think your an asshole or full of shit or both, so keep it the fuck down....please.

4. While I think it's great that your proud of America and I think you should be, don't shove it in my face. I'm as proud to be Canadian as you are American, but I don't want to fucking hear how fucking much better you think you are over anyone else. Perhaps you should do some reasearch online because we Candians tend to live longer, are heathier, are happeir (well except for me perhaps but fuck it) and people around the world kinda like us better. Perhaps that's why I was getting my drinks before you.....just a thought.

Anyways that's all I have to bitch about for now until I get back home and some other asshole decides to fuck with my oxygen.

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P.S

If your wondering why there are mre spelling errors then normal, it's because Blogger's spell check is being fucking retarted and highlighting almost every word so I can't tell which ones are correct or wrong.

I'm Rich Bitch

2011-03-03T19:22:00.000-08:00

Today I got a wonderful email that went a little something like this:

Dear Mr. Wolf

The Yahoo Lottery Corporation is pleased to tell you that you've been selected and won 1 million dollars. All you have to do is send us a blank cheque with your signature and we will wire you the money right away.

Sincerely

Mr. S Perm Dumpster
Yahoo Lottery Corporation
Some shit hole butt fuck middle of nowhere country you've probably never heard of
www.this is a fucking scam@ fuck you.whatever.

This isn't the exact message but I'm typing this on me net book and it was saved on my desktop, my version has more of that certain something something.

Do these shit heads really think I'm so fucking stupid that I would send a blank check with my signature, why the fuck don't I staple my balls to my fucking forehead while I'm at it as well. I love how they ripped off the name of a major search engine....one of the 5 largest I believe and only dwarfed by mega search giant Google. I love how they couldn't fucking use a spell check and the mis-matched word placement of some jerk off with a basic grasp of English. And my favorite is that it was addressed to some bullshit office in Nigeria. Geez the last time I checked the only shit that comes out of Nigeria is fucking bullshit scams trying to suck money out of North Americans. Well maybe not just bullshit scams, theres also blood diamonds, drugs, smuggled weapons, human trafficking, and the occasional genocide just to keep things interesting. So I guess I'm just a tiny bit skeptical that millions of dollars with my name on it are just across the ocean.

Not that I wouldn't love to have a few million, I would only use the money for good........who the fuck am I kidding it's all hookers and fast cars and gold plated toilet seats (who doesn't want to feel to touch of a precious metal on their ass when they take a shit......and why do they call it taking a shit anyway? I'm not taking it anywhere, I'm not going to a restaurant with it and buying it fucking dinner, I'm confused)

Getting back on point here, to those who make these scams, to those who are fucking parasites who pray on those who are naive and not savy to the fuck tards on the Internet I only have one thing to say to you FUCK YOU, YOU SLIMY TWINKLE TOED CROSS EYED CHICKEN FUCKER.

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Justin Bieber Your A Limp Dick Raging Homosexual And Other Famous People I Want To Tell Off Part 3

2011-02-22T00:17:00.000-08:00

So many ass clowns so few words, It's time once again for me to tell you what I would love to say to the faces of famous people who piss me off with their bullshit antics and shenanigans. To see part 1 and part 2 click on the links.

1. The Cast Of Jersey Shore

If there was ever a fucking poster child for abortion it's this bunch of orange fuck tards. What the fuck is wrong with you people. I mean seriously here's your life story, some crack whore shat you out, and now you drink and party and pass STD's around like their fucking Halloween candy. And for fucks sack lay off the fucking tanning your in your twenties and you look like your in your 40's. It's because of shit heads like you that I want to buy a gun, a bottle of vodka and fucking end it. The only good thing about you you fucking turds is that the aliens will never invade because they saw your show, thought we were all as fucking retarded as you are and didn't want to catch a raging case of crabs from Snooki. And by the way Snooki you look like a fucking bridge troll, do you eat small children off camera under an overpass.

2. Tom Cruise

What the fuck happened to you. You went from Tog Gun to Scientology and jumping around like a pogo stick was shoved up your ass. Its a shame really, I enjoyed many of your movies. Top Gun for instance was a favorite of mine as a kid. Taps, a lesser known movie starting George C. Scott another fine movie. Fuck even you as a one handed one eyed NAZI in Valkyrie wasn't half bad. But apart from that you sir a fucking douche canoe of epic proportions. Let me break this down for you.............THERE ARE NO FUCKING ALIENS HIDING BEHIND THE SUN TO SAVE YOUR SORRY ASS YOU FUCKING DICK. Smarten the fuck up...........DIET COKE.

3. President Barrack Obama

What the fuck is this bullshit you want to tax Canadians who come to the U.S via air or sea, are you sniffing airplane glue you fucking twit. Let me see, now I'm not a financial fucking analyst who can refuckulate taxes like a motherfucker, but it doesn't seem like a smart idea to tax a country that provides so much money to begin with. That's like being a regular at a restaurant only to get charged an additional fee just because your a regular customer. Yeah your fucking smart numb nuts. If that's your best plan for getting the U.S out of it's current financial troubles you need to have you ass booted out of office faster then a fat kid running after an ice cream truck.

4. Keisha

Who the fuck are you? Who the fuck cares? Please fuck off now........I'll give you a dollar.

5. Ben Mulroney (Son of former Canadian Prime Minister Brian Mulroney and host of ETalk daily)

You metro sexual bitch, I want to slap you in the face until you cry and pee yourself. First I hate your fucking dad for creating the GST (Government Sales Tax) and the fucking fiasco that was the free trade agreement. Yeah we became a stronger country out of it, but we got fucked hard in the process. For that shit I'm holding you personally responsible. Also I fucking hate your bullshit fake fucking smile that you plaster all over Canadian T.V, you fucking make me want to puke you fake bitch. Please do me a favour and see how many freight trains you can stop with your face.

6. Steven Tyler

Remind me If I ever see you and I have a teenage daughter to keep her the fuck away from you, your a fucking creepy perv. Seriously is that the only reason why you became a judge on American Idol, funny how the age limit dropped a couple years when you showed up, coincidence me thinks not. Sure you fronted Aerosmith which I think is a kick ass band, but your fucking ancient don't perv on teens it's fucking gross. Seriously you should fucking be watching reruns of Matlock and getting excited over a game of gin rummy not drooling over a 16 year old you fucking pervert. Can you even get it up anyway? You know what don't answer that the thought is disturbing enough in itself.

7. Ryan Seacrest

And speaking of American Idol you fucking shit eating grinning ass wipe. You just had to create all those other fucking visual disasters called reality T.V. You just had to fucking create a reality show around those oxygen thieves the Kardashians or however the fuck you spell their name. I would punch you in the throat but I don't want your panty waste germs on my hand. So instead I'd rather just spit on you because it's more degrading.

That's it for this one I would bitch out more but I need a sandwich and I think I have to poop.

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Fuck You Yahoo Answers

2011-02-20T20:03:00.000-08:00

One of the things I've been doing to try and get my website (The Razors Edge) noticed is using Yahoo answers. If you've never used this site or even heard of these fuckers here's how it works.

You answer or ask questions on whatever topic. Every time you answer a question you get two points. If they choose your answer as the best answer you get an additional ten points, I know fucking exciting shit eh? The more points means you go up in level and can answer more questions. It also means that if your answers are chosen to be the best answer any link you use as your source will be displayed at the top for everyone who looks up that question or find it's online. Basically this gives you back links to your site, more links more traffic and all that wonderful stuff.

The other day when looking for some easy points I came across this question "Facebook is simply crap.... Do you agree?" So I answered, fuck it it's an easy two points I figured and it's not like I had anything better to do.

Today though I got a nice little email from the assholes at Yahoo telling me my answer violated their terms and I would be deducted ten points for doing so. My answer to the question was this;

"The only thing I see that's crap is your grammar. Seriously the slang makes it harder to read"

This is because the little fuck face who wrote the question couldn't even spell words properly and used some type of fucking ghetto slang making himself (I'm assuming it's a he but who the fuck knows these days) look like a complete fucking retard. I think my answer was pretty nice considering what I should has said was something like this;

"Hey fuck stick learn to fucking spell and form a proper fucking sentence you ass clown. What's the matter did you snort too much fucking coke, or were you two busy giving hobo's hand jobs behind a dumpster and had to type with one one. How about you wake the fuck you, read a book or two and stop being such a fucking oxygen thief"

And as for the soft cock ass pirates at Yahoo......FUCK YOU AND FUCK OFF. How about you screen those who post questions that make them look even more fucking stupid then what they are and give me bonus points for pointing out the fact. How about you also drop the politically friendly, nobody can say shit to anyone who might cry and piss themselves fucking attitude. Sure this little bitch is probably 14 and wants to be all cool by thinking he's a gansta, but seriously fuck off. I'm still going to use Yahoo answers because I do get some good traffic from that site, but fuck me do they have to be so fucking sensitive.

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The Wolfman What Have You Done (New Video)

2011-02-15T13:16:00.000-08:00

For my newest video I wanted to do something with werewolves. Not the gay ass Twilight shit either, fucking sparkly fucking vampires that prance in the forest.... FUCK THAT SHIT. So for this video I chose to use The Wolfman, staring Benicio Del Toro (not sure if I spelt his name right) Emily Blunt, and Sir Anthony Hopkins (that's right he's a knight because he's that fucking awesome).

Anyways for this video I was originally going to use some Rammstein for the music, in particular the song du riechst so gut meaning you smell so good which is one of my favorite videos from that band (I put it on this post as well). I scrapped it though and went with the song What Have You Done Now by the band Within Temptation. I couldn't upload any of their videos for some reason but definitely check them out, of course it doesn't hurt that the lead singer is pretty fucking hot.

All that being said check out the video, hope you like it and let me know what you think.

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Again My video is banned in Germany for now, I guess the Hoff is still angry at me

Are You Fucking Kidding Me

2011-02-10T19:22:00.000-08:00

The other day while I was out walking my dog I noticed some punk ass little fuck running from the local grocery store. It was pretty clear this shit smear stole something, unfortunately before I could get to him he was long gone.

But this post isn't about how much thieves piss me off, it's about the so called security guard companies that are in a word a joke.

Following this punk was an extremely overweight over the hill man who didn't even speak English. He had no (at least that I could) cell phone or radio or even a fucking paper cup to call anyone for help. Does anyone else notice the problem here? How the fuck can a security company properly safe guard a business, keep potential thieves out, and customers safe when they hire fat old people who don't even have a decent grasp of the English language?

But then again I shouldn't be surprised because these companies not only pay shit wages, but offer almost nothing in the way of training. I can't speak for the rest of the country but here in Vancouver the highest wage I've seen is between 13 to 15 dollars. Basic security training is also only a week of classroom activity, it involves no training when it comes to self defence, and any training in terms of dealing with hostile individuals is stuck at what if scenarios that leave you feeling pretty much fucked.

I took their training a few months back and I can tell you from first hand experience that I was the only guy in the room who had a fucking clue how to handle someone who could be dangerous or armed. Of all those in attendance only myself and one other had a solid grasp of English. The rest had broken English and were pretty much fresh of the boat immigrants. No before you go calling me a fucking racist or any of that shit, I'm not, but think about this long and hard. If you were partnered with someone who barley understood you and you were in trouble or trying to pass directions how effective do you think they'll be. Simply put they won't, and frankly it's a fucking miracle that so far no one has been killed.

So here's my two cents on what I think is needed to pull this industry out of it's fucking ass.

1. Stop hiring people fresh off the boat who don't know English. Concentrate on getting people with previous military or police experience, or those with the right mind set.

2. When you pay shit wages you get shit results, so bump up the wages to at least 18 an hour to start.

3. Actually have decent training courses that includes some basic self defence training, and provides training that will actually fucking prepare people to handle things when the shit hits the fan.

4. Now I know guns will probably get more people in shit then without but fucking give them something other then sweaty used slash resistant gloves that are over ten fucking years old and full of holes and won't stop a wet fart let alone a knife or needle. How about a baton or maybe some fucking ninja stars. Fuck I could defend myself better with a rotten fucking potato then what these guys get.

Of course those fuckers won't listen to anything I would have to say and would rather keep things the way they are and pay people shit and not give a flying fuck, but hey what the fuck do I know.

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Dating Sites

2011-02-04T20:00:00.000-08:00

I'm just going to come right out and say I don't get some of the shit that goes on in dating sites. Now don't get me wrong I think there actually a good thing, especially when your socially awkward such as myself. It's a good way to break the ice, and if you don't like the fucker or fuckette it's a fucking cinch to block and ignore them. But there is some shit on there that pisses me off, so I thought I'd make a list to display my frustration. Hey who says I don't share.

1. Fucking avatar pics of flowers and shit

Is it so fucking much to see what the fuck you look like. Don't get me wrong those that tell you they'll show you theirs if you show them yours is pretty smart. Apart from that who the fuck wants to see some stupid fucking flowers, or a fucking happy kitten. Fuck off with that shit, I want to be able (as I'm sure they would want to) be able to see who I could be meeting. You can tell a lot from a picture such as how they present themselves, if they practice good hygiene, if they have all their teeth. You can't tell a fucking thing from a pic of a sunset, fuck the sunset show me your face.

2. A few extra pounds translation your Jabba the fucking Hutt

Okay this one really pisses me off. Be fucking honest about your weight, I don't give a shit if you're 400 pounds just let me know so that if a meet up does happen I don't go storming out because you told me a load of bullshit. I know people are sensitive about how much they weigh, I also know very well how it feels because I was damn near 300 lbs at one point and was very fucking embarrassed by that, so I understand that. But isn't better to be honest right off the bat?

3. Do you drink, smoke, shoot crack, eat small children.........prefer not to say

I fucking love these questions because when you say "prefer not to say" or something along those lines your basically admitting that you do. Fuck why else would deny it if your trying to hide the fact that you do, use your fucking melon.

4. Copy and paste

What's fucking worse that a fucking avatar of a bunny........a pic of a different person all together. For fucks sake do you really think that pic of Cindy Crawford from 1996 looks anything like your bridge troll ass. I had this happen once when I went to meet this girl who claimed to be 5'5 shoulder length blond hair, and a fit physic. Only to discover she was 5'3, was as fucking wide as tall, and looked like a hobbit.

I know there are guys who pull this shit too and frankly it's fucking embarrassing all the way around.

5. Your pic is from 1984

I'm almost fucking positive that unless you've been in cyrogenic suspended anifuckingmation since that year and you just woke up that you look nothing like that faded grad pic you posted. Camera's are fucking cheap, buy one and use a new picture.

6. Stalkers

I've only had this happen a couple times when I've used these sites in the past, though I'm sure this happens to a lot to women from creepy guys. One of the times I kept getting constant message on the site (I never gave me email thank fuck) that would go all day long. After a couple days it went from questions like "Do you want to meet so we can hook up" to "I'm going to cut out your eyes out with a knife". Needless to say that account was deactivated pretty dam quick. The second time was a year later and this woman actually flew from Ontario to Edmonton to try to find me. She got my number (which I never gave her) and started calling my fucking apartment telling me how she was going to kill me........oh what fun. Then silence for a week then she calls back and demands I buy her a plane ticket back to Ontario.....yeah fuck that.

So to the fucking creepy Fatal Attraction fucking wannabes before you go psycho fuck off.

And that's all I have to say on that.

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Sharon Den Adel

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NHL Guardians........What The Fuck ?

2011-01-30T21:52:00.000-08:00

First off I love hockey it's a great fucking sport, hey I'm Canadian after all and hockey is in our blood. The only thing I don't like about hockey is a lot of the bullshit politics and crap that the NHL shits out on a plate and thinks its wonderful. There latest little attempt at mass marketing and making money is with the new NHL Guardians.

Now if you haven't heard of them this is what it boils down to. They got Stan Lee, you know the fucker who created characters such as Spider Man to come up with super hero's that represent every team in the NHL. Each team gets a character named after the team, that wears the colors of the team and has different attributes and all that shit. Think of it like The X-Men only a lot more gay.

Seriously I know this shit is to get kids in skates and interested in hockey, but I also know this is a cheap stunt at trying to squeeze more cash out of mommy and daddy so little Timmy can have some action cards, or a shirt or some shit like that. Knowing those fuckers I'd bet money your going to see either a cartoon or video game based around this.

If the NHL wants to get people in seats and attract people to hockey especially Americans then there are better fucking ways to go about it. Not to mention these "super heroes" are fucking lame. Like what the fuck are they supposed to defend against, old gum on seats, or that the stadiums shitter doesn't plug up. Or how about making sure the ketchup dispenser is full and in functioning order, that's pretty important shit......NOT.

Frankly if you were in need of a super hero who would you want to save your ass. Some guy called The Toronto Maple Leaf who looks like he's spewing brown vomit from hos fucking hands or Batman. Yeah I think the answer to that question is pretty fucking simple.

If you haven't seen what these charecters look like here they are.

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Lisa Marie Scott

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Tagged And Bagged

2011-01-25T02:16:00.000-08:00

Don't worry it's nothing contagious. Kelly over at Psycho Carnival tagged me the other day for some sort of survey type thingy in which you all get to know my inner thoughts..........maybe that's better left locked in a fucking closet and forced to eat fish heads all day. Anyways I'm suppose to also tag 4 others who in tern tag 4 others and so on, which is exactly how the zombie apocalypse is going to happen. Well I'm going to change the rules up a little bit, instead of tagging 4 others I'll simply post the questions below the random video and if your partake in the joy the go for it.

Here are my answers

1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

I have a dog named Bear and yeah that fucker gets treated better then how I treat most people. This is because of two reasons. One most of the people that I've met in person are backstabbers, assholes, cock jawed shit turbines and generally in need of a good backhanded bitch slap. This isn't to say their all bad or that I hate people it's just that I seem to be a magnet for shit heads.

The second reason is a little more on the personnel side. Because of stuff that's happened in my recent history that little ball of fluff (He's about 20 lbs) gives me something to live for. I know it probably sounds cheesy but he seriously does. No matter what anybody ever says or does to me I know I can trust him and frankly if I didn't have my dog in my life I probably would have ended it years ago by jumping off a bridge or some crazy shit like that.

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

This is a now brainer........Lucy Liu I'll let you fill in the blanks.

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

Just one fuck, but there are so many ass bags, anal tasters, and other general fuck ups who deserve to be mentioned. I guess my biggest piss off would have to be dumb people. If there's nothing that pisses me off fast it's someone who is either too stupid to figure out what they did wrong, or has the brain power and simply refuses to actually think.

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

Well I can tell you what I wouldn't do........miniature ponies. I mean fuck a billion dollars you better believe there is going to be some wild parties and freaky monkey sex happening at my place. I think the first thing I'd buy is a really expensive car just so I could trash it.

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

I'm still working on that one. Seriously though working out, I love to run it gets all that mental shit out of my head. Keeping my mind busy is good to, I think that's why I like editing those videos and spend long hours working on my website.

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

Neither what is more blessed is to crush your enemies, to see them driven before you, and hear the lamentation of their women.

7. What is your bedtime routine?

Well I usually start off by reading some Harry Potter to a snack of milk and cookies, then a soothing bubble bath while listening to the music of the orcas............fuck that shit. I get the fuck up do my business and fall the fuck asleep. Then I get up at zero dark stupid and live it all over again. Good times had by all.

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

Currently single unless you count the voices in my head and my imaginary girlfriend Susan in which case we met when I lost my marbles.

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

What is this mickey mouse shit?

10. What kinds of books do you read?

I like books on history mostly. You can learn alot about the world we live in today by reading about the events that shaped it from the past. Apart from that sometimes I read scribblings on public washroom walls, their very informative.

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

As the supreme overlord of the human race, possibly of mars as well to keep those fucking little green martian bastards in check.

12. What’s your fear?

I don't think I really fear anything. I don't fear death, heights, drowning, spiders, really anything at all.

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

Just to be perfectly fucking clear I would give it up if I was 100 percent guaranteed to go into space. And I'm not talking about 5 minutes, I'm talking a month or more on that international space station, I'm greedy that way.

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

Single and rich, you can find dates a lot easier when you have a fat wallet. Being poor means the wife will nag you to death about being poor, you can't afford shit, and you beg for death doesn't that sound like fun?

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

Ask myself why

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

That she wasn't a figment of my imagination

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

Something exotic, something that screams international man of mystery, something that will strike fear in the hearts of men and make women weak in the knees..........Pedro Juan Sanchez The Third

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

No I hold grudges to the grave. You can't forgive the things that happened to me.

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

The flesh from fallen angels, I've heard it tastes exactly like chicken only a little more dry and not so pious.

So there you have it there are my answers to those questions. Like I said I'm not tagging anyone to do these, but if you want to the questions are listed below the random video making it easier to copy and paste.

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Tia Carrere

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1. If you have pets, do you see them as merely animals, or are they members of your family?

2. If you can have a dream to come true, what would it be?

3. What is the one thing most hated by you?

4. What would you do with a billion dollars?

5. What helps to pull you out of a bad mood?

6. Which is more blessed, loving someone or being loved by someone?

7. What is your bedtime routine?

8. If you are currently in a relationship, how did you meet your partner?

9. If you could watch a creative person in the act of the creative process, who would it be?

10. What kinds of books do you read?

11. How would you see yourself in ten years time?

12. What’s your fear?

13. Would you give up all junk food for the rest of your life for the opportunity to visit outer space?

14. Would you rather be single and rich or married, but poor?

15. What’s the first thing you do when you wake up?

16. If you could change one thing about your spouse/partner what would it be?

17. If you could pick a new name for yourself, what would it be?

18. Would you forgive and forget no matter how horrible a thing that special someone has done?

19. If you could only eat one thing for the next 6 months, what would it be?

SPAM

2011-01-21T23:14:00.000-08:00

When I posted my latest video I got a lovely spam comment from a site called Boycott American Women (if your just dying to see the link it's in the comments of my last post, you can't miss it it's fucking huge). Naturally I had to check this site out just to see what the fuck is going on, and after a very short look through found that it is complete fucking garbage like what I thought it would be.

Now I do think there is a growing gender gap between males and females in terms of schooling, and the stats are showing that young males are being let down by the school system, but that's a little off topic.

Anyways this site is packed full of angry whining little bitches who call themselves men going on about how American woman are lazy, bitch a lot, demand everything, angry, and ungrateful and that women from places such as Mexico or third world countries are better. Oh and lets not forget the radical feminist lesbian agenda to control and hate on all men because all men are dogs and scum and all manner of shit.....right???? WRONG!!!

Personally I find it fucking amusing that these guys bitch and whine and bash American women and yet don't look in the mirror to see what maybe their doing wrong. Did it ever occur to these limp cheese dicks, that perhaps playing 20 hours of World of Warcraft at a time and not even bothering to get their significant other some flowers isn't cool. Oh and they talk back, how dare the women folk talk back to the men, fuck me sideways. Perhaps they talk back because these ass clowns need to be because their too fucking stupid to figure it out the first time. Perhaps just perhaps if these so called men put some actual effort into it maybe they would be getting some instead of going online and crying like a fucking wimpy bitch.

Some were going off about how great women from other countries are because they don't talk back and do what they ask. Maybe that's because their cultures are stuck in the fucking stone age where women aren't even considered human fucking beings, and their quiet because they don't want to get beaten like how their mother was and is.

Personally I never liked door mats, I want someone with some spunk and who will call me on my shit when I fuck up. I want someone with a personality and an opinion and not afraid to speak their mind. As for these fucking douche bags who are stuck in the 1950's grow the fuck up, grow a fucking set, and if you don't like how things are then suck it the fuck up, fix it and soldier on.......fucking pussy's

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Children Of Men The End Is The Beginning Is The End

2011-01-19T20:04:00.000-08:00

It's been far too fucking long since my last video, those ass nuggets at YouTube really left a bad taste in my mouth when the banned my Zombie Strippers video. And in similar fashion they gave me the shaft with my latest little creation, not by banning it, they let me keep it on YouTube. But they'll blocked it worldwide so only I can see it on there which makes a boat load of fucking sense. So first off WMG and YouTube FUCK YOU, YOU SLOPPY SECOND BITCH.

But just because YouTube doesn't like my video doesn't mean it's not going to be shown. I've embedded it on Facebook, my website, and thanks to Facebook on here for you to see. Anyways check it out and let me know what you think of it.

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I'm On The Short Bus To Hell

2011-01-16T03:59:00.000-08:00

This morning like every morning I was out walking my dog along the seawall. I got to admit things have been pretty calm.........almost normal if you can believe that shit. Anyways I'm out doing my thing when I'm approached by two older German women (I knew they were German due to their thick German accents, not the cheesy I'm the camp commandant and if you fuckers don't play a game of soccer I'm going to have you fucking shot accent)

Now of course my dog who's 22 lbs of fluff and the biggest fucking suck in the world goes running over to them, tail wagging, looking for attention and possibly food, I swear that fucker would run away if you walked past me with a bag of bacon in your hand.

One of the German women (We'll call her Helga) comes up to me to ask a question, I say sure. Then she whips out a fucking bible and starts preaching religious shit to me about sermons and spears into plough shears....or was it stab Brittney Spears until she bursts out in tears.......I can't remember either way I was fucking pissed. She asks me what my faith is, which I reply I'm somewhere between an atheist and I don't give~~e a flying fuck~~ really know. And this is the part that makes my blood boil, she was all nice and polite but I could see in her and her strudel eating buddies eyes they were calling me a heathen and thinking I'm going to roast in the fires of hell.

Well who in the name of Zeus' ass do they fucking think they are? Why the fuck is it okay for them to come up to me and try to "save my soul"? Do I have a fucking sign that on my forehead that says "Wanted one fat fucking German bitch to preach about damnation in an effort to get me to repent my many sins.........and I have many, some of them were at a McDonald's drive through but that's a story for another day.

But on a serious side why is this okay? I have no problem if you or anyone wants to believe in God in whatever religious form you choose, that's your fucking right and I'm not going to stop you from doing it. I personally don't believe in god, I've seen far too much to probably ever believe in god and I think it's all a load of bullshit to begin with. I find it ignorant and history has proven more wars have been cause by religious ignorance then anything else.........but hey that's my belief. I may be an asshole but at least I'm honest. But yet for my beliefs or lack there of I'm the bad guy, I'm the one that has to tolerate this shit???........Fuck that noise, sure they were polite to me, and I was polite in return but fuck keep that fucking bible shit away from me.

Why can't they figure out that if people are truly interested in what they believe they'll find a way to go to them, they don't fucking need to come to my door, and they don't need to fucking stop me in the middle of my walk.

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Fucking Printers, Nukes, And I Think I'm Losing My Fucking Mind

2011-01-13T21:46:00.000-08:00

Today I decided to do up some simple business cards for the new website I've been a ~~fucking slave to~~ happily working on for the last little while which is why I haven't been posting on here as much as before. It started out simple enough I bought some fancy ass guaranteed not to smudge if I look at it the wrong fucking way type of paper, the type that what's his name from American Psycho would have approved of before running around naked and hacking people up with an axe (seems like a logical idea to me)

The reason for making these cards is because I could be going to some sort of meet and greet social networking type thing, and apparently theres a guy who knows his shit when it comes to web design, something I'm still trying to figure the fuck out. Not that I'm a fucking ass clown when it comes to computers and Internet shit and all that fancy stuff either, I can cut and paste like a motherfucker in a throw down.

So I get the paper find a nice free card creating site, I don't opt for the fuzzy pink fucking kitten picture that was the standard logo for the card type that I picked. I mean what the fuck kittens.......me.....not fucking happening. Instead I go for my sites new logo (pictured above in all its glory)

It comes time to print (oh fucking joy) but does it print looking all bad ass and razor like...NOPE IT'S A CLUSTER FUCK TO THE SECOND DEGREE. I print again calmly (sorta) and again a cluster fuck of epic proportions. So considering that I've spent most of the last couple of weeks up almost 24 hours a day working on, correcting, posting, and researching for this site I LOST MY SHIT. In full metal jacket style there I am going all drill Sergeant (I was only a corporal....and why the fuck am I typing all this shit in these bracket things, what the fuck is with that? Fucked if I know, fuck I think I'm talking to myself and typing it as well as answering myself..........meh fuck it)

Any who I am fucking screaming at this piece of plastic HP dog shit telling it I'm going to dry smash it into fucking oblivion and that if it had a neck I would be shitting down it.

Finally after a few minutes of this I had a realisation, I used the wrong program which is why the paper is all fucked up like a red headed step child. So I got the cards finally looking good to go.........Not sure why I told you all about that, it's not like it's all that important.....ahhh fuck it I'm losing it again.

Oh yeah I almost forgot I found this nifty little widget that lets you see what the blast radius of a nuclear warhead will be in any city on Earth, and it's kinda like Google maps. So you can find directions and avoid fallout, not a bad deal me thinks, here it is if you want to try it out, it's at the bottom of this post below the video. For some reason I keep having this urge when using it to nuke New York, not sure why......meh fuck it.

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Nina Dobrev

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Keeping Up With The Shit Turbines.........I Mean Kardashians....Nope I Mean Shit Turbines

2011-01-06T03:39:00.000-08:00

As you well know if you've followed this blog of mine I FUCKING HATE REALITY T.V. It seems every sperm dumpster who thinks their all that and a bag of chips has a reality show. A couple days I saw another fucking televised travesty of visual diareah......Keeping Up With The Kardashians.

Now don't get me wrong I think Kim Kardashian is fucking hot and wouldn't throw her out of bed for eating crackers, fuck she could eat a whole turkey fucking dinner and spill shit all over the place and I'd be down with that. And for the hell of it I'd give the old pork sword to the mom and her two sisters to, cause I roll like that (just to clarify I think she has a couple of underage sisters I think, I'm talking about the ones that LEGAL...I'm not into jail). But I have a question WHAT IN THE NAME OF FUCK DID THESE ASS CLOWNS DO TO GET FAMOUS IN THE FIRST PLACE.

Up till like two years ago I never head of these fucking idiots. Mention the name Kardashian and I would probably assume you were talking about those annoying fucking aliens on Star Trek Deep Space 9 ( yeah I watched from time to time fuckers BUT I AM NO FUCKING TREKKER BITCHES, THIS DUDE IS ALL ABOUT THE WARS........STAR FUCKING WARS) So where the fuck did these people come from? Are they illegal aliens or perhaps some government top secret project to create the most useless humans alive? Is this a sign of the impending zombie apocalypse perhaps? Either way this reality bullshit must end right the fuck now.

Here's what I propose....we take all these Jersey Shore, spray tan, skinny bitch, windbag, fucking model, I'm as fake as fucking humanly possible types who have turned television into a shit show and fire their sorry plastic asses into the fucking sun.

And just to clarify I watched the show because I was half out of it from spending most of the night putting my website together (http://www.therazors-edge.com/ in case you want to check it out) and was too fucking tired to reach the remote. I was practically passing out in my dinner. I was no way doing illegal things with farm animals and or midgets dressed as wrestlers........that's my story and I'm fucking sticking to it.

That is all

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Fuck You's And Thank You's Of 2010

2010-12-31T23:13:00.000-08:00

Being that it's both Friday and the last day of 2010 I wanted to take some time and give a special Fuck You Friday to those ass clowns who went that extra mile this year in being a complete douche bag

Fuck You Kim Jong Il what the fuck is your problem you needle dick ass clown. Didn't mommy and daddy give you enough attention as a child. No instead you have to take your issues and start throwing artillery shells at South Korea. It's bad enough your own people are starving to death and living in primitive conditions but you have to fuck up innocent people across the border too. I hope you fucking get eaten alive by a goat shit head.

Fuck You to all those in charge and who put profit instead of safety over at BP when you had that massive fucking shit show in the Gulf. Wow simply wow your fucking tards, thank you so much for fucking up the planet just that much more, it's great to see fairy fucks like you don't give a shit if the air we breath is poisoned, if the water is undrinkable, or if we all fucking die as long as you can buy a fucking mansion and retarded expensive cars.

Fuck You to Stephen Harper the current prime minister of Canada. I never liked you, I don't fucking trust you, and your face looks like a sock filled with smashed pigs assholes. I don't have anything to say to you other then fuck off eh.

Fuck You Justin Beiber are you shitty me that you now have collectible trading cards. Really as if your sissy bitch antics, pathetic as fuck excuse for a mustache, and singing voice that sounds like a 10 year old girl caught in a vice isn't enough. Why the fuck can't you be like other annoying fucking so called "celebrities" and just go away, preferable take a one way fucking trip to the sun. And by the way what the fuck are you anyway? I mean seriously are you suppose to be male, female, or something in between because I'm confused.

Fuck You to all the ignorant pole smokers I had to deal with this year in Vancouver. You bunch of shit smears should all take turns seeing how many cars you can stop with your face.

Fuck You to YouTube for banning my video tribute to Zombie Strippers. What the fuck is with that bullshit. Seriously I have one fucking video that finally gets almost 15 thousand hits, and was steadily going up, but no you had to fucking can it because it was sexually suggestive........what the flaming fuck? You seriously ban my video yet I can watch the entire fucking movie tits ass and all, and my video that has no nudity gets the shaft. Whoever made that call deserves a punch in the face.

And now for something different

I want to take a second and say to everyone who reads, follows, and comments on this blog THANK YOU. You guys are the shit and fucking rock. Thank you for giving me a reason to keep this blog going when I've considered canning it so many times in the past. Thank you for allowing me to vent and put up with my slightly twisted sense of things. I wish everyone the best for 2011.

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Fergie

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Zombie Strippers Porn Star Dancing Got Banned

2010-12-20T00:58:00.000-08:00

Tonight while I was working on the new website I decided to take a break and pop onto YouTube to check out some videos. Instead I got a nice little surprise waiting for me in a bed red box. No it wasn't a early Christmas present (I was hoping to find Lucy Liu under the tree this year) Instead it was a nice message from the jolly fuck sticks over at YouTube.

It seems in their wisdom and all knowing hypocritical bullshit they have outright banned my video to Zombie Strippers, saying that it contains pornographic material and doesn't meet the high standards of YouTube........ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME. They ban my video yet you can watch the entire movie on their site which has tonnes of TITS, ASS, AND FULL FRONTAL FEMALE NUDITY WHILE THEY GRIND ON STRIPPER POLES. I mean fuck were talking about Jenna Jameson being in this movie for fucks sake.

When I made the video I cut out all the nudity, and just to be sure I went through the video several times, and there isn't a boob to be seen anywhere and yet I get banned FUCK YOU YOUTUBE YOU COCK EATING SHIT TURBINE.

Now I'm pissed but I do see the positive that has come out of this, first being that the video is still available to be watched. I uploaded it onto my website since my site provider Webstarts lets me upload my own videos and give me tonnes of space to do so. So if you want to see it here's the link
http://www.therazors-edge.com/zombie_strippers_porn_star_dancing.html I'll also put the link on the side bar and I'll post a quick video with the link there as well. The only thing that sucks is that.

As for making and posting videos I'm still going to do it, those little shits ain't going to stop that, and if they ban future videos or my account I'll simply do what I did with this one, post it on my site and pass on the link. And I'm still going to post random videos from there because unlike those fucks who run the show I believe in sharing.

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Shu Qi

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I Miss 90's Movies

2010-12-18T00:40:00.000-08:00

I was talking to a friend today about old movies, I guess that depends on what you consider to be an old movie. I dunno perhaps it's old age creeping in and me feeling nostalgic for days gone by when I was a whole lot less wiser and had some semblance of hope for humanity, but I fucking miss 90's action movies. I mean they don't make that kind of cheesy shit that rocks. I miss the bad one liners, the guns that never run out of ammo, the stereotypical drug lord, thugs, bullies that always pick the wrong cop who was a former special forces operative ( have you ever noticed that there always some kind of ex military I've never seen one yet where the hero was a former dishwasher ). I miss how 40 fucking guys can be firing fully automatic weapons and one dude with a pistol takes them out with one shot each and yet they can't hit the broad sit of Rita MacNeal's ass, go fucking look her up if do don't have a clue what I'm talking about.

What do we have now, all this so called edgy emotional dog shit with a touch of tweeny shit and some bitchy sissy sparkling fucking ass bandits that have the audacity to call themselves vampires. Last time I checked real vampires were undead corpses who drank blood and fucked shit up, not sparkling emo turds who suck cock and cry.

What happened to the Steven Segal's, the Chuck Norris', the JCVD's (Jean Claude Van Damm) I want that shit back because these so called "tough" guys who are in the so called action movies now make me want to vomit on homeless people. Don't get me wrong there are some good movies out there being made, I just miss the good ones.

On a completely unrelated topic to what I mentioned above I wanted to let you guys know that I'm currently working on a new website......well not exactly new. A couple of you might remember awhile ago I had a website called The Razors Edge this was a post apocalyptic survival guide based around my former military experience. I've decided to rebuild the site from scratch and give it a brand new topic and look. While the name is the exact same the content now focuses and things like reviews, basic seo tips that I've learned for the new blogger or website creator type person, and a general how to guide for all sorts of stuff. One of the biggest problems with the old site was that I just ran out of things to say about post apocalyptic survival without wandering over into the crackpot religious side, or the gun toting government hating let's start world war three types............not that world war three wouldn't have it's up sides especially when I end up as the ruler of the world.

Anyways the site is still under construction but I wanted to get the word out, so if you want to check out what I have on there so far the url is http://www.therazors-edge.com/. I'm also looking for anyone interested in trading links so if you want to, let me know in the comments and put your url/s in there if your not on my blog roll on here.

That is all

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I don't know about you guys but watching Full Metal Jacket in German makes me want to invade Poland

Faster Harder Mad Max

2010-12-09T17:12:00.000-08:00

It's been a little while since my last video so I figured it was time to change that. As the title suggests it's to the Mad Max trilogy (yeah I know again I've done like 5 or 6 fucking videos to those movies....but fuck it there awsome). For this one I decided to try something new and go outside my comfort zone and try a different type of music that I don't normally listen to.

Anyways hope you enjoy it and let me know what you think. I'm also trying to come with an idea for the next video here are the movies I'm looking at so far

- Full Metal Jacket
- Children Of Men
- Star Wars Trilogy (old school one not the ones with little sissy bitch Hayden I prefer the company of burly men Christensen)

The only thing I haven't decided is the music, so if you have an idea for a song that kicks ass let me know in the comments.

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Denise Boutte

And Now A Shitty Movie Review

2010-12-07T23:44:00.000-08:00

If there is one that I can't stand it's a shitty movie, be it a chick flick or some crap with sparkly pansy ass vampires who would rather play hide the hot dog on the Hershey highway then do what vampires are suppose to do.......drink blood and tear people limb from limb while looking cool doing it.

So when I rented Valhalla Rising a couple days ago I was sadly disappointed. So much so that I wanted to write a post about it to let all 3 three people who read this blog (two are multiple personalities of mine, one of which thinks he's a space ranger) and let you know just how shitty this movie is so you don't waste 90 minutes of time you could be doing something more productive.

I'm sure if you rent movies that you've probably seen the trailer for this movie, if you haven't here's the video below

Your probably thinking "Hey this looks pretty cool theres blood and shit....what the fuck is The Wolf smoking now?" Sorry to disappoint but those were probably the best parts of the entire movie. Basically the story goes a little something like this. A one eyed, mute warrior type person who spends much of the movie starring off into space because he's either just crapped his panties, confused, or wishing he was doing anything but making this movie travels with a bunch of viking types who sound oddly like a bunch of Scots to some remote wilderness looking place while travelling to the Holy Land. Once there the one eyed mute probably just shit himself warrior guy spends more time starring off into space while the others barley talk, some stare off into space, and slowly they die off.......THE FUCKING END.

I've read some of the comments from people on YouTube going off about how this film is artistic and visually stunning and black fucking blah. And while I agree that it had it's moments (such as watching a guy get disemboweled with an arrow head.........that was fucking cool) the majority of this movie could be used as a cure for insomnia. The best part is if you fall asleep watching this movie you won't really miss anything.

I hope that helps, of you still want to watch this movie, I can't stop you but I figured I'd at least give you a head's up.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Anna Torv

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My Christmas Wish List

2010-12-03T19:35:00.000-08:00

Ahh Christmas tis the season full of vacant stares, over spending, crowds, fruit cakes (Did you know fruit cakes can last over 100 years....seriously that's fucked up. I mean who the fuck wants to survive on fruit cake after the impending zombie apocalypse, that shit bungs you up).

But since it's Christmas and we all want presents I wanted to list off some of the things that I hope to see under the tree this holiday season. Santa if you're real and you happen to be reading this DON'T FUCK THIS UP LIKE YOU DID WHEN I WAS A KID AND SEND ME THAT STUPID ASS SWEATER WITH THE FUCKING REINDEER THAT LOOKS LIKE IT HAD DOWN SYNDROME ON IT. And who the fuck knits a sweater with puke green wool, what am I a fucking hobo?

And with that happy thought onto the list.

1. A tazer to zap every single cross eyed fucker who looks at me funny

2. A gold plated toilet seat just like the ones that those rich princes in places like Dubai get to crap on. I WANT TO KNOW WHAT IT FEELS LIKE TO SHIT ON A PRECIOUS METAL TOO ASSHOLES (Don't judge me)

3. Socks

4. Every single Clint Eastwood movie except The Bridges of Madison county, and the one with that annoying fucking monkey that would play dead...........fucking monkeys.

5. Lucy Liu......do I really need to explain why

6. Tear gas, trust me it ain't a party until everyone is chocking and hacking up a lung and gasping for air.

7. A new car, something simpler perhaps........like an Austin Martin like the one Sean Connery used back in his James Bond movie days with all the gadgets.

8. A 24 hour pass to bitch slap every stupid jack ass I run into without any repercussions.

9. A politician to admit that they are a greedy self centered asshole and that they don't or ever gave a fuck about the average tax payer on live T.V, followed by a randomly picked bunch of lucky winners to spit on them for an hour.

10. A new mouse pad. Mine is starting to split apart though I really like it because it has this pic of green leaves flowing in a soft summer breeze, it's very calming and made from recycled plastic.

11. For Mark Burnett to be hit by a fucking train. In case you don't know who this glue bag is, he's the guy who's pretty much responsible for the overwhelming tide of bullshit called reality T.V. This is the twinkle toed fuck who spearhead shoes like The Apprentice and Survivor.....need I say anymore.

12. Gummy bears........what they taste good fuck you.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Eva Longoria

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Dumb Fuck Behind The Wheel

2010-11-25T22:37:00.000-08:00

Okay I'm fucking pissed. Tonight I was watching the news, they were covering the recent dump of snow we just had, which by the way is pretty minimal yet the city was in shut down mode. Seriously 15 mm or about an inch and half of snow and buses shut down for the morning, schools were closed, the international airport had major delays, and even one of the sky trains had to stop for a few hours because there was too much ice and nobody seemed to know how to remove it.........BUT THAT'S NOT WHY I'M PISSED. Frankly I found all of that rather funny given that most of Canada has between 4 to 6 months of retarded fucking cold winters that make you pray for global warming.

What really pissed me the fuck off was this one story about this ass clown over on Vancouver island. Some 20 year old shit smear decided it would be a great idea even though the roads were icy and shit to do about 205 km/h that's almost double the speed limit on the island highway in good weather. And his excuse.....because he wanted to beat the oncoming snow.....WHAT A LOAD OF SHIT. The police couldn't even pursue this guy because the road conditions were too crappy for them and it would put the public in more danger, so they had to set up a road block to stop the guy. But you know what part of this really got on my nerves, it was the fact that this guy basically got a slap on the wrist. His punishment for putting dozens of peoples lives in danger was a $468 dollar fine, and the car he was driving WHICH WASN'T EVEN HIS was impounded for 7 days. Now they might be able in court to have the car removed from the owner and sold at an auction for charity but still what a load of shit.

If I gave some fucking psycho a gun and a handful of bullets and that fucker went on a shooting spree and killed some people I would go to jail for helping him. Sure I didn't actually kill anyone and wasn't there, but it would still be my gun. So why the fuck is this any different? Thankfully he didn't kill anyone but he could have very easily, and on that same highway 10 minutes after he was caught another car which was very similar even in color hit a logging truck and two people died, and they were obeying the speed limit. And yet this shit head walks away with a small fine.

If he had killed someone I guarantee you he wouldn't have been charged with murder, the ass clown who lent him the car who is probably as big of a fucking douche bag as the driver is would probably receive no punishment either. Personally I think both of these idiots should be dragged through the streets and beaten until some fucking sense is in them, and given that assholes actions, that could be a long fucking time.

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Ivanka Trump

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When The Snow Falls The Bitches Will Whine

2010-11-20T10:31:00.000-08:00

Last night we had our first snowfall, a whole two maybe three centimeters. How big is that, well it takes 2.5 centimeters to make an inch so three of these is about an inch and a half....and who says you can't learn any useful shit here.

Now even though that snow is melting as I type this out, people out here are acting like it's a fucking Arctic tundra. ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME? I understand there are those who live here who have come from warmer parts of the planet where the only snow they get is in their freezer, so they get a pass from my wraith, but to the locals either born here or from Canada WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT? Seriously they call the Canada the "Great White North" for a fucking reason, because a lot of the time our winters suck big floppy donkey dick. At this time of year a good deal of the country gets a good dumping of snow and cold temperatures, how cold well if you live in the prairies like I did for ten years it can drop from -25 to -45 before windchill (that's in Celsius) That's not always the case but it does happen. Fuck I've even seen warnings on the news telling us exposed skin would freeze in two to three minutes.

That's not the case here in Vancouver or the surrounding lower mainland, here it's pretty much green all year round, I've even seen fuckers mow the grass a week before Christmas. But yet now that there is a dusting of snow fuckers are all huddled up in thick parkas, gloves and acting like little wimpy bitches. For fucks sake fuckers there are still fuckers fucking running around in their fucking running shorts and you fucks are fucking acting all fucking wimpy SUCK IT THE FUCK UP PRINCESSES........fuck.

But seriously people it's not that cold outside, you don't need a parka, you don't need that thick scarf wrapped around you're face like you're a ninja (ninjas are cool by the way) and you don't need massive winter boots like you're exploring the Arctic circle looking for Yeti. Anything more then a light jacket or a fleece pullover and you're just being a sissy bitch, and really we have enough sissy bitches out there so grow a fucking set of nuts would ya.

On a completely different note I want to thank Gnetch for bestowing me with the Chupacabra Award of Excellence (or however the fuck it's spelt) award. Go check her blog out ................ NOW !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!http://thankgoodnessforthegoodones.blogspot.com/.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Padma Lakshmi

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Grocery Store Nightmare

2010-11-18T22:23:00.000-08:00

I FUCKING HATE SHOPPING. Yeah I said it I fucking hate it, I can't stand the lines, the screaming out of control kids and their vacant starring parents who are off in la la land. The aggressive little ole grannies who ran their carts into you're shins because they are in dire need of that TV dinner before Matlock comes on.......THE FUCKING SHOW HAS BEEN IN SYNDICATION FOR OVER A DECADE YOU OLD BITCH I'M PRETTY SURE YOU'RE NOT GOING TO MISS MUCH. Besides you'll probably just forget about it in five minutes anyway.

Now you may notice I'm a little more angry and bitter then usual in this post compared to my usual self, and that's because an image was burned into my soul today while grocery shopping at the nearest Safeway. An image of horror AND I'VE SEEN SOME SCARY ASS SHIT IN MY LIFE THUS FAR. Apart from the usual ass wranglers who I have to deal with when I go grocery shopping was this one fucker who was in front of me while I was in line to pay for my groceries that I spent forever trying to find because I didn't have the slightest fucking clue as to where anything was.

That image was of this old fucker in skin tight super short daisy duke shorts THAT WERE FUCKING WHITE, white like a damn 81 Trans Am rockin out to White Snake kinda white. Now I do not, I repeat DO NOT give a shit how fucking fabulous you're legs might be.............DUDES DO NOT WEAR TIGHT DENIM SHORTS. Oh and they do not bend over and expose their hairy ass crack to me while picking up change, the least you could have done you asshole is walk away........just walk away. The only dudes that wear these kind of shorts are usually out trolling for trouser snake and this dude was straight, why because his wife was right in front of him helping him unload the cart.

Now maybe this guy like many are caught in a time warp, perhaps his tiny little brain can't fathom the fact that it is not the year 1984 and that the Dukes of Hazzard isn't the number one TV show (though it's way fucking better then the garbage they call TV these days with all the reality shit) But even if he is WHERE THE FUCK IS HIS WIFE TO SLAP SOME SENSE INTO THIS FUCKER, is she challenged too? Was she drunk? Is she into that sort of shit? If that's the case, keep it in the bedroom you wrinkly fucks.

I do not need to see this shit, I have enough nightmares as it is, so please for the love of whatever god you believe in DO NOT LEAVE THE HOUSE UNLESS YOU'RE DRESSED NORMALLY. If I see another fucking dude in white daisy dukes I will stop what I'm doing no matter what it is, walk over and skull fuck you with some sort of blunt object......perhaps a spoon because it hurts more.

Now please excuse me while I crawl under my desk and cry.

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Alyson Hannigan

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Terminator Drop The Bombshell

2010-11-17T13:29:00.000-08:00

Time once again for a brand new video. This one is my latest tribute video to one of my favorite series of movies The Terminator. There's something about killer robots run amok hell bent on destroying humanity after they nuke the shit out of us with our own nukes that just feels so right.

For this video I wanted to try something a little different from my last video ( Zombie Strippers ) I wanted to do something a lot faster and more chaotic. Anyways I hope you enjoy the video, and let me know what you think of it.

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Femke Janssen

Word Mashing

2010-11-16T18:30:00.000-08:00

It seems like everything is speeding up, I dunno perhaps it's old age setting in for me and I'm too fucking slow to keep up ( I did notice some of the hair on my chin is now grey.....on my chin of all places what the fuck is this mickey mouse shit? ) Anyways because things seem to be speeding up the attention spans of people are getting shorter. So short in fact that I've noticed more and more that people are combining words to form new ones to save that whole precious millisecond of time that they could have used for something else. Perhaps they want to squeeze an extra little sip of whatever the fuck it is their drinking, or perhaps they noticed some hot girl across the room with big boobies and they want that extra millisecond to undress them with their eyes ( can't say I blame them for that one )

So I thought I'd share some of these mash up's that I've heard around here, starting with the annoying ones

1. Chillax (chill + relax)

Easily one of the most irritating things a human being can say to another human or human like being. Seriously it sounds like some kind of medication to relieve constipation. "Here Timmy take some Chillax and you'll be shitting buckets in an hour". Chillax may relieve constipation in only some patients. Side effects may include dizziness, dry mouth, ulcers, burning pee, brain damage, cancer, zombies, ass hair, and the urge to act like a complete fucking ass clown. Consult you're family doctor or the guy selling it illegally from a van before using it. If some ass nugget tells me to chillax I will punch them in the eye.

2. Swhore (slut + whore)

Really it's not bad enough to call someone either one of these terms but you have to combine them. True you get points for using you're imagination, but for fucks sake this one just sounds stupid.

3. Swass (sweaty + ass)

Okay this one could serve a practical purpose. Say if you will that you're at a fine dining establishment and you don't want to announce to the world that you're ass is sweaty.......I mean nobody likes a sweaty ass after all. Plus using swass has a semi sophisticated manner to it, by sophisticated I mean it's like changing the channel from Jerry Springer to Maury Povich for one of his "You're not the father" episodes. You know the one where someone who slept with an entire football team is accusing one guy of being the dad. And the DNA results are in and YOU'RE NOT THE FATHER. At which point the guy does a touch down dance and shouts " I told you so " while the woman starts crying...........yeah isn't T.V great.

4. Radtastic (radical + fantastic)

Does anyone actually use this one anymore who isn't stuck in 1994?

5. Refuckulate (recalculate + fuck)

I love this word even though it's technically not a word........YET. Frankly it should be, and whatever cock knockers over at Webster's dictionary disagree with me seriously need to refuckulate their way of thinking. I even love how this word rolls off the tongue like a fine French wine outside of Paris.

That's all for now anymore and it would be considered effort

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu

Yeah I know she was the random hottie of the last post, but c,mon it's Lucy Fucking Liu. Not to mention she's in tight tight leather, heels and firing a flamethrower. Do I really need to explain why this picture is here?

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By the way check out this persons Youtube channel at http://www.youtube.com/user/6castor6 they have some really good videos there.

Hello Kitty Bitches

2010-11-15T23:47:00.000-08:00

I have a confession....I'm all for the Asian persuasion. I don't know what it is, perhaps it started when I saw my first movie that had Lucy Liu in it (I think it was City of Industry and she had a small part as a stripper) Or in high school with all the hot Asian girls walking around doing their thing. Either way and ever since I have been hooked (Fuck even my ex wife is Chinese).

But there is one group of Asian women that really piss me the fuck off and that's HELLO KITTY BITCHES. Now what's a hello kitty bitch you ask? The term comes from my ex and is defined a little something like this.

Hello Kitty Bitch:

A bitch who happens to be Asian, who dresses like she's Sailor Fucking Moon. Who giggles like a 12 year old who's between 18 and 45, can't give you a straight answer, and in general appears to a be a brain dead annoying, immature, and in general someone you won't think twice about hitting with a car.

Now I totally understand there are cultural differences between North America and it's Pacific Rim neighbours, and being in a city that has a very large Asian population I see this everyday (They don't call Vancouver Hongcouver for nothing fuckers) But fuck these bitches are annoying as fucking hell. Is it so fucking hard to act you're age and not you're shoe size? Is it so fucking hard to look me in the eye if I ask you a simple fucking question without giggling like a fucking raging moron? Can you not engage others in a meaningful conversation and SPEAK YOU'RE FUCKING OPINION without this beat around the bush bullshit? And can you not huddle in the middle of the fucking way while giggling like said raging fucking moron when others are trying to get around you............and don't give me this shit that you didn't see those people trying to walk around you're vacant starring asses.

My tolerance for stupid annoying fucktards is reaching record lows here people, and what makes it worse is that their Asian and on average attractive, it's like a catch 22 here. FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKKKKKKKKKKKK............now I'm sad :(

My head hurts and I need to poop

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu

(Who else was I going to pick your mom?)

And if that picture wasn't enough for you

You Might Be A Douche Bag If.......

2010-11-14T11:28:00.000-08:00

Douche bags, these fuckers are everywhere. From the grocery store to that run down adult video store where Carlos sells crack beside the dumpster in the alley (Carlos wanted me to tell you that on Tuesdays if you spend 100 dollars you get a 10 dollar gift coupon) Some of these fucking douche bags don't even realize that they are douche bags, and that is truly scary. So I thought I would put together a list of tell tale signs that either someone you know is a douche bag. Remember there is no cure for being a douche bag other then a swift back handed bitch slap (Repeat twice a day or as many times as required. You can also hit them in the face with a dirty sock full of pennies)

The Urban Dictionary defines a douche bag as :

Someone who has surpassed the levels of jerk and asshole, however not yet reached fucker or motherfucker.

An example would be :

Rob:He kept hitting on my girlfriend at the party, he just wouldn't leave her alone!!

Sam: God, what a douche bag

Here are some of the signs :

If you think yelling above everyone else about how much money you have, or that you just made some big fucking financial deal makes you look like an all star YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're walking down the street and think it would be the fucking greatest idea in the worked to hork up snot and spit it on the ground right in front of someone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you go into a building and instead of holding the door open for the person behind you FOR A WHOLE TWO FUCKING SECONDS, but instead let it slam in their face YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG COCK JAWS.

If you're one of those tweeny teenage fuck sticks who insist on giggling, throwing popcorn or in general being a loud mouthed little shit smear when people who used their own money NOT MOMMY AND DADDY'S to pay to watch that movie YOU ARE MOST CERTAINLY A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to use a turn signal but instead just cut everyone off and then wonder why somebody is flipping you off YOU ARE A STUPID DOUCHE BAG.

If you think it's a great idea to get drunk at you're buddies place and try to grab everyone's wife and girlfriends ass, you not only deserve a severe ass kicking YOU ARE ALSO A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're one of those lazy little shits who can't be bothered to pick up after you're dog who just left a nice fresh steamer in the middle of the sidewalk YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who never shuts up about themselves and thinks their the greatest human being in the entire history of the fucking universe YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who fucks another person in the ass and doesn't have the God damn common courtesy to give them a reach around YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

If you're the type of person who owns a monster sized fucking Doge Hemi quad cab, extra long box, no muffler, flames shooting off the side, sticker of Kalvin pissing on a Ford logo, and plastic balls dangling from the rear axle of you're truck to make up for you're shortfalls. And you drive that monster sized Doge Hemi like a fucking moron, and act like the road is you're personal fucking race track, and have no fucking respect for the thousands of other drivers, pedestrians, or anyone else on or near the road YUP YOU GUESSED IT YOU ARE A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

If you're one of those educated fucks who think that because you went to some fancy ass school that you're automatically better then anyone YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're from Toronto and not only think it's the center of the universe but think their hockey team the Toronto Maple Leafs are the greatest hockey team in the fucking universe FUCK I HATE YOU AND YES YOU ARE INDEED A DOUCHE BAG.

If you're too fucking lazy to get off your ass and make that sandwich you're fat ass is craving, but instead yell at you're significant other to make it for you YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

And last but not least :

If you are a puke piece of dog shit who insists on being as rude as humanly possible to others because you're life is a sad never ending misery parade and you secretly pray each day for death YOU ARE A DOUCHE BAG.

Hope that clarified it for you, now you to can spot a douche bag.

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Natalie Dormer

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Did I Hassle The Hoff ???????????

2010-11-07T22:30:00.000-08:00

I've mentioned this a post or two ago that my videos recently have all been banned in Germany. Ever since I started using Adobe instead of Windows movie maker all but one video has been completely banned in the Fatherland, for this I can only think of one logical reason.........I PISSED OFF THE HOFF.

To those of you younger ones who have no idea who I speak of I'm talking about David Fucking Hasselhoff, the guy who wore the wrangler jeans and big hair in the original Knight Rider series (The one with the talking car that wasn't Val Kilmer.......what a douche bag.) He was the guy with the hairy chest who was the mans man on Baywatch, the same show that made fellow canuck Pamela Hugetits Anderson (The one who sparked the whole celebrity sex tape thing). And in more recent history a former judge of America's Got Talent and has countless video's on YouTube of his drunken ramblings and eating floor burgers......mmmmm floor burger.

So to you Mr. Hasselhoff WHAT THE FUCK IS THIS MICKEY MOUSE SHIT? I don't get it why the hate? When have I bashed you, I don't think I've ever bashed you? I mean fuck dude I grew up on Knight Rider, and yeah I'll admit I watched the occasional episode of Baywatch......sure it was for the intro to watch the bouncing boobies, but hey what guy didn't get a kick out of that? Is it because you're singing sounds like a cat being raped by a chainsaw.....I can't help that you're music sucks and I think you even know that. I mean fuck I even had family fight for the Germans in World War 2 that shit has to count for something....right?

But I'm not the kind of guy to beg or plead, that's just not what I do, and if that's what you're hoping to hear to lift the ban you can get fucked. You may be " The Hoff " but I will fuck you up faster then a choir boy in prison who dropped the soap in the shower and has to run the gauntlet through the Aryan brotherhood. So lighten the fuck up and let the good German folk watch my videos.

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Diane Kruger

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And Because it had to be shown.......you know you want to see it.

Zombie Strippers Porn Star Dancing

2010-11-07T09:44:00.000-08:00

What do you get when you combine bad acting, the guy who played Freddy Kruger, a porn star, and the walking dead. Well you get one of the cheesiest zombie movies of all time, I movie so bad it's actually pretty fucking good. Yes I'm talking about Zombie Strippers which is what my latest video is to. I wanted to do something a little more twisted and funny for this video.

And yet again for reasons I don't get this video like my last one is currently banned in Germany, I swear The Hoff must be really pissed at me, I'm not exactly sure what I did to piss him off? Perhaps I should have responded quicker to the birthday card, maybe I should have accepted that cheese platter he wanted to give me, either way I don't get it. But getting back on topic I hope you enjoy the video and let me know what you think of it.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jenna Jameson

Fuck You Friday And A New Award

2010-11-05T20:36:00.000-07:00

Before I start this week's FUCK YOU FRIDAY I want to give a special shout out to Kelly and his blog Psycho Carnival for giving me the Lol Award, check out his blog if you're into funny twisted shit. If you're into lawn bowling or perhaps garden gnomes then this is not for you and you should promptly seek out someone to bitch slap you in the face until their hand hurts. Also being in the spirit of sharing I wanted to pass this nifty little nugget of an award to two blogs that I think are funnier then a moose dry humping a tourist, they are

Max Evel and his Underworld blog and the Dutchess of Dorkville and her drunken bathtub antics.

Now with all that taken care of here are my fuck yous for this week..........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the asshole in the black BMW who almost ran me over AGAIN at the intersection of West Georgia and Denman Street. Really you can't drive without trying to send a fucking text message at the same time? And what the hell is with you turds in you're black BMW sports cars driving like giant douche bags....can somebody tell me what the fuck is going on, because it seems that every other day some ass clown in one of these cars wants to turn my ass into a hood ornament.

FUCK YOU to the senile old fucker who stopped in the middle of the parking lot and stared out into the great beyond while me and at least a half other people were either trying to enter or leave that parking lot. Stare all you want asshole you're not going to understand the universe any more then the rest of the talking fucking chimps on this little planet. How about you do us all a giant fucking favour AND PARK YOU'RE FUCKING CAR.

FUCK YOU to the greasy homeless hippie motherfucker who thought I was his personnel ATM. Really you looked younger then me, I'm not saying I'm old but fuck dude you're like what 18? First off why the fuck are you begging for change, you're not crippled, strung out on drugs, or have some kind of mental handicap other then being a complete fucking lazy ass. If you need money that fucking bad (which I'm sure you do because you smelt like piss and olives) the McDonald's just down the street is hiring. Who knows maybe you'll be promoted to the guy who operates the soft ice cream machine and you'll get to eat all the expired fish sandwiches. But don't come to me expecting a hand out, the only people I give hand outs to are the veterans selling poppy's for Remembrance day, or the guys with the bells looking for donations for the Salvation Army. And since you're neither of those FUCK OFF.

FUCK YOU to the creepy smelly fucker who ran up wanting to pet my dog. Do you honestly think I'm going to let some guy who smells like he shit himself touch my dog......FUCK THAT. My dog sleeps on my bed asshole and I don't want him to smell you.

FUCK YOU to the wobbly step ladder I was using to clean my windows. It's a long drop down those 12 stories onto the pavement and thanks to you're shitty made in whatever backward butt fuck third world country I dam near kissed that road. On the bright side I have been perfecting my swan dive technique.

FUCK YOU to Gordon Campbell B.C.'s now former premiere. Thank the gods you stepped down you are a joke, oh and thanks for forcing us to now pay the new HST (harmonized sales tax) A tax I might add is not only messed up on paper but has almost zero support from taxpayers, business, and a good deal of those in the government, yet you rammed this shit down our throats. Thank you for continuing the long standing tradition of fucking the province over and making it just that much harder for honest people to live here without having to work two or more jobs, and for making it more undesirable for business to establish themselves here. Awesome job douche bag, I personally love how you are now the most hated Canadian politician since Canada became a country, pat yourself on the back for that one.

FUCK YOU to those little green alien bastards. Why the fuck have you not come down to beam me up to take me to you're home world and declare me you're new leader. Do I have to send you a fucking resume too assholes...........and do you even have email? I mean yeah sure you invented interplanetary space travel, but you don't even have an x-box, I've heard all you have is fucking table tennis and checkers. WHO THE FUCK PLAYS CHECKERS THESE DAYS?

And that's all I have to say on that.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Gillian Anderson

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And Now For Something Useful

2010-11-04T20:36:00.000-07:00

If you use a wireless router like me it can be a royal pain in the ass when you get a shitty signal. Recently I had to move my computer to another room and now have 4 walls and a bookcase in between me and a decent signal. So I started trying some stuff out to help boost the signal, cause 8 percent to too fucking slow.....were talking watching old people fuck kinda slow, which is extremely painful in case you've never seen this.

Here are a couple videos of some things I've found that ACTUALLY WORK to help boost you're signal and they cost nothing other then some arts and crafts time (don't eat the fucking paste)

Some points I want to make with using a pop or beer can for you're antenna, when I did this I went from 8 to about 20 percent signal strength. Also because my antenna in on a long usb cable I found I got a slightly stronger signal if you put the pop can on it's side facing you're router (about 2 to 4 percent)

This next one is something you can do to you're routers antenna

Using both of these I have a signal strength of just over 50 percent, not as fast as it used to be but still pretty dam fast. This is especially important if you're searching the net looking for midget clown porn.......not that I've ever looked for midget clown porn. Now this might or might not work for you, but if you have a wireless connection hopefully this might help you out if you're connection sucks big floppy donkey dick.

That is all

Random Hottie Of This Post

Alyssa Milano

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What The Fuck Is This Mickey Mouse Shit

2010-11-03T19:55:00.000-07:00

A couple of days ago I was watching the news. Over on Vancouver island just outside of Victoria a couple workers clearing brush near the highway discovered a live M-72 rocket launcher. Now I thought the smart thing to do if you find something that could potentially kill you and you know jack shit about how to operate it was to leave it the fuck alone and call someone who does ie the police. Apparently these two didn't get that memo and proceeded to play around with the launcher like a fat and fatter version of Rambo.

Now for you none military types you probably have no clue as to what I'm talking about (aren't you glad I am and I can tell you about all this kind of stuff). An M-72 is a one shot disposable rocket launcher, this means that when these are used in combat the missile is already pre-loaded inside the tube, all you have to do is pull it open to arm, aim and fire..........of course you want to make sure nobody is behind you for about 30 meters or else they get to spend the rest of their days being called BBQ face. You also don't want any large objects such as a car or large rock directly behind you........this can really ruin you're fucking day.

This is just the latest little bit of stupid shit I've seen in the last couple of days, and it leaves me wondering "Are people getting stupider?" I mean fuck, these two ass clowns should have known not to fuck with a live weapon that they've only seen in video games and Vietnam war movies, but no they have to fuck with it like dumb asses. What would have happened if it misfired......sure as shit somebody would have gotten hurt or killed, and for what because fatty wanted to play soldier?

Fast forward to today, I recently got a new coffee maker. I get home to install it and look at the directions in case there was some technically mumbo fucking jumbo like having to install the warp coil or flux capacitor or decipher ancient Egyptian hieroglyphics like when I have to program a T.V.

What I got instead was a little booklet with nice little pictures give me directions on how to not only open the box, but on how to remove said coffee maker from the box. Then how to remove the tape covering the open moving parts...................ARE YOU FUCKING KIDDING ME DO I LOOK LIKE SOME TURD WITH DOWN SYNDROME? I'm pretty sure that in order to take an object out of the box you do it the same was as you would the last 50 fucking thousand other boxes that I've opened. Not to mention these fabulously brain dead instructions were at the bottom of the box below the coffee maker, this means that the stupid fucker who can't figure it out is screwed. I'd hate to see that poor bastard in a position of power......oh wait their called politicians silly me.

Next I start to cut the tags of the new dog bed i got for my 20 pound fluff ball that things it's a rottweiler. Apart form the normal cleaning instructions in bold print was "Not to be used by children as a bed" Huh are you fucking kidding me? What piece of shit parent uses a dog bed for their kids bed, I can picture it now some trailer in the back 40 of butt fuck nowhere where cousins are potential dates. Billy Ray comes home from the road kill collection factory (his shed) "Lookie here ma, little Timmy don't have to sleep on dat dirt floor nomore no siry we gots him a dog bed. Now he can sleep like them edumacated folk. Fucking outstanding.

Maybe I'm just that extra little bit of annoyed with the human race today but it seems that we as a species are getting stupider by the minute. Please someone tell me I'm wrong and that I just need a nap and a sandwich.

But I'm not bitter

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Amanda Latona

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Mad Max My Darkest Days

2010-11-01T16:02:00.000-07:00

What sounds better then roaming the post nuclear wasteland in a beat up 1973 Ford Falcon, eat dog food straight from the can, and get chased around the Australian wasteland by guys wearing hockey masks.....personally I can't think of one fucking thing. Okay that's not really true, perhaps having Lucy Liu as my personal sex slave, or ruling the world with an iron fist would be nice, shit I'll even settle for my own island in the south pacific, but all that aside roaming the wasteland in the last of the V8 interceptors is pretty fucking dandy.

Now in case you have no fucking clue as to what I'm talking about my latest little video creation is focused on my favorite series of movies MAD MAX. Notice I didn't call it a trilogy, I always thought the third movie was it's own stand alone movie due to the fact that it doesn't really tie in that well with the others.....not to mention an almost complete lack of driving stuff until the end of the movie (It's still awesome though just not as awesome as The Road Warrior)

Anyways getting back on topic here I hope you enjoy the video, and like my other ones if you have any suggestions or even ideas for future videos that you would think would like to see let me know....because knowing is half the battle or some shit like that. And before I forget one final note, for some reason all my videos have been banned in Germany lately, not sure why, guess I pissed off the Hoff or something.

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Gina Torres

A Couple Ghost Stories

2010-10-31T20:07:00.000-07:00

Happy Halloween Everyone. For this post, being my favorite time of year I wanted to share with you some real ghost stories with you that happened to me. I've been lucky or unlucky depending on how you look at it to have had numerous encounters, I guess I'm just one of those fuckers who see dead people like that creepy little kid in that movie......you know the one directed by that guy about that dead guy who doesn't know he's a dead guy so by default he's scaring the shit out of some already traumatized kid because he thinks he's the kids counsellor. Anyways here we go.

MY FIRST GHOST ENCOUNTER

The first encounter I ever had with the spirit world was when I was a little kid (sometime between 5 or 6). We lived on a small island east of Vancouver island in an old house on top of a hill. The story goes that the original owner was a world war 2 veteran who returned from war to discover that his wife not only had an affair when he was gone, but had a child with the guy. Nobody knew what happened to her afterwards, she simply vanished, the vet raised the child as his own.

Just before I was born some water pipes in the basement broke in the only part of the basement that still had a dirt floor. When my father (by the way the guy was an evil asshole but that's another story) dug down into the dirt he discovered a long wooden box. Upon opening the box he discovered human remains. Now instead of doing the right thing and calling the police he simply and for reasons I don't know to this day he simply buried it back up.

But it was only after I was born that things started to happen. At first it would be things like strange noises upstairs when no one was upstairs. Then doors would lock or open on their own, pillows and other objects would start to fly across the room both when people were in those rooms and not. I remember one occasion having a large pillow from the living room fly on it's own into the kitchen and hit me. Later on footprints would appear on the ceiling starting above the entrance of the basement and going into the bathroom, there would always be two sets, one's a woman's shoe like a high heel, the other a heavy work boot type shoe. The creepiest thing that happened was when my mother would be woken up by me talking in the middle of the night, she would come into my room only to find me sitting up in bed talking to the wall. When she asked me what I was doing I told her that I was talking to the nice dead lady in the corner.

She wasn't always nice though. The spot where her body was no one ever ventured into, there was an overwhelming sense of terror that you would feel as soon as you crossed that invisible line into that corner of the basement. I remember my brand new tricycle rolling into that spot and being too scared shitless to go after it. The last time I was in that house was when I was about 14 and the bike was still in that spot, even my so called father who didn't believe in ghosts would never set foot in there.

As for my father I haven't spoken to him in almost 20 years, as far as I know he still lives in the house, and still hasn't done anything about the body in the basement. I've tried to get something done about it, but without proof nothing will happen.

GHOST ATTACK

A few years ago I was dating this woman who lived about an hour outside of Edmonton, Alberta (Canada for you guys who don't know what country I'm talking about). There was always strange things happening in that house that both me and her saw all the time. We heard voices coming from inside the walls. Strange orb like lights would float along the walls, and strange cold spots would happen instantly and always in different parts of the house.

One night in particular I was staying over for the weekend. We were getting ready for bed and the whole night I felt like I was being watched, I always felt like I was being watched but on this particular it felt stronger and more sinister. We crawled into bed and hadn't been there for more then a couple minutes when I felt a weight being pressed down around my torso, it felt like a person was sitting on my chest. It started to become hard to breath and I couldn't move. Suddenly I felt a pair of hands grab my throat and start choking me. I gagged and fought for air but couldn't move, I couldn't speak or shout out but I was able to make enough noise to wake my ex girlfriend up. She grabbed my shoulders and shook me, when she did the weight and the hands went away. As I tried to regain my breath and figure out what the hell just happened I looked into the hallway to see a black figure standing in the doorway tapping it's fingers on the side of the wall. It then slide behind the wall, the whole time keeping it's fingers tapping the wall and watching me, after a few moments it vanished and I no longer felt the sinister being watched feeling.

But what really freaked me out was when I went to the bathroom right after. Looking at my reflection in the mirror I saw red finger marks on my throat. The finger marks were too narrow and long to belong to my ex girlfriend, and the angle would have been impossible for me to do to myself.

That's just a couple of dozens of ghostly encounters I've had.................SO FAR.

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Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Halloween Zombie Survival Tips

2010-10-29T20:10:00.000-07:00

Being that Halloween is close by I thought I would touch on another Halloween type topic....ZOMBIES. Yeah I'm getting a little fucking sick of all these forums, and "experts" talking about zombie survival who have no idea what the hell their talking about. More often then not it's some snot nosed little shit who thinks that just because they played Left 4 Dead their the be all end all zombie killing expert.....keep dreaming sunshine.

So I thought in this post I would shed some reality into the whole zombie survival thingy. And being that I spent more then two minutes in the army, I might know a thing or two about dealing with the shit hitting that proverbial fan.

Fantasy Weapon List

I've seen wave after wave of kids talking out their ass about how if the zombies came they would get (insert fancy ass fucking gun here) and blow away some brain eaters.

The reality is that 1. Those guns are going to be in the hands of a select few such as the military or gun enthusiasts (depending on country and local laws of course) and unless a truck full of guns happens to be dumped on you're front lawn, you're not going to get ahold of that fancy fucking sniper rifle, or machine gun or whatever the fuck you want Santa to bring you for the zombie apocalypse. Also being that most of us in the developed world live in urban areas items such as shovels, crowbars, or other blunt objects that could be used as a weapon may be in short supply.......in short you're probably just going to end up as a fucking snack asshole :)

Wannabe Badass

Second to wanting fantasy guns are little ass nuggets who think their stone cold killers. The reality is if a horde of zombies is moving in on you're position YOU'RE GOING TO SHIT YOU'RE LITTLE PINK PANTIES. I guarantee that most of these kids never shot a weapon in anger or on a range, and if they get their hands on a gun their going to be shaking like a leaf. They won't know shit about adopting a firing position, concentrating their breathing, nor have the necessary training in general to be a decent shot. Also video games don't teach you things such as dealing with weapon jams and stoppages, the weight of the weapon itself, or the recoil when that weapon fires. And depending on the type of weapon it could be a little push like that of a 22. caliber rifle, or a massive kick like a shotgun :)

Drop That Burger Fat Ass

Now I'm not Mr. fucking universe, but I'm in decent shape....good enough shape to either run from or to trouble and give it a good ass kicking. How many little chubby fuckers do you know that can eat a bowl of soup without needing oxygen let alone fight? Since our population is getting fatter this means more and more people won't be physically fit enough to fend off or escape a zombie. And if you're sucking wind out through you're ass and you're dizzy from exhaustion, how the fuck are you going to shoot effectively if you have a gun? Yeah not fucking likely you're going to hit Moby Dick with a rocket launcher at 50 let alone a zombie.....so you're basically fucked :)

Oh by the way when I talk about fatty's I'm not talking about those who are a little plump or a bit of a beer gut, I'm talking about those fuckers who can't put down their gut wrenches.

The Emotional Factor

Not many people can turn off their emotions, and those that can usually pay a price for that ability. So the average Joe Bloggins who works 9 to 5 and the most traumatic thing that happened to them is that they missed the all you can eat buffet at the local diner are in for a huge fucking surprise. I guran-fucking-tee most will emotionally break down when their mom, sister, boyfriend, best bud are a brain munching zombie looking to use their skull as a bowl. Some will break down so badly they'll go into shock and be able to function even at a basic level, these people will more then likely be snacks for the horde. Others will go off the deep end and just fucking loose it, going after anyone and everything regardless if it has a heartbeat or not. Chances are you're probably fucked :)

Now some of you are probably wondering thinking this "So what the fuck are you gong to do princess?" The answer is simple GET THE FUCK OUT OF DODGE. Being that I live in a city full or rich retired assholes, pretentious stuck up business type assholes, and snotty bitchy women who are more obsessed with looks and money rather then common sense that this town would be fucked faster then a new fish in prison. Also being that there is a serious shortage of firearms unless I'm lucky to get one from a dead cop or naval reservist, I'll be for the most part unarmed. Do you really think I would be that stupid to stick around when there could potentially be 2.3 million zombies surrounding me................in the words of a wise man FUCK THAT SHIT. Unless I have the arms, ammo, and food I'm getting out of the city as fast as I can and going to where there is hardly anyone which is either the mountains or the ocean.

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Gucci Mama from Mamma Still Wears Gucci

Why you ask, why the fuck not..... besides she begged pleaded, and then eventually told me that if I didn't she would hunt me down and set me on fire, now who can argue with that.

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Halloween Survival Tips

2010-10-26T18:14:00.000-07:00

Being that Halloween is just around the corner I feel it's important to share some helpful tips to make this Halloween a safe and fun one for everyone.

1. DO NOT DRY HUMP THE ZOMBIES

Zombies may be the walking dead but they have feelings to........well maybe nobody really knows, it's hard to tell with their vacant stares and groaning. Besides you don't know where they've been.

2. DO NOT ACCEPT CANDY FROM STRANGERS

Unless of course they are in a clear plastic bag, you don't want some hobo's greasy hands sweating up all over the candy. This is especially true of chocolate.

3. IF BEING CHASED BY A CRAZY KNIFE WIELDING PSYCHO DON'T RUN UP THE FUCKING STAIRS

Really have you not seen any horror movies where the dumb blond with big boobs decides to make a run for it by going upstairs to hide in the bathroom only to be cut to little pieces with an axe. Not fucking smart, instead go in the basement instead cause nothing bad ever happens in a basement. Besides running up all those stairs means you'll just die tired.

4. DON'T SACRIFICE ANY VIRGINS TO THE DARK LORD

Unless you're knife is razor sharp, also make sure that you pronounce you're chanting right. You're sacrificing a virgin to the dark lord, not turning you're poker buddy into a giant furry chicken. I also have to point out that the dark lord is really disappointed from last years sacrifices from the lack of "actual" virgins. Seriously people do you're fucking homework, is it so fucking hard to get them to fill out a simple questionnaire. You don't want to piss off the dark lord.

5. DO NOT GO INTO THE WOODS ALONE

Bring a chubby kid with you, they don't run as fast. If the axe wielding psycho who just finished chopping the dumb blond mentioned before into human firewood decides to show up to turn you're head into a canoe. This way you can escape and as for the chubby kid..........well he should have fucking put the donuts down now shouldn't he. Seriously all that sugar and crap is just going to give you a heart attack.

6. IF YOU'RE A TWENTY SOMETHING PRETENDING TO BE A TEENAGER DO NOT RUN ANYONE OVER AFTER A WILD NIGHT OF PARTYING

We all know that you're shitty driving skills won't kill the poor sap (entirely at least) which means there going to come back looking for revenge. This also means that you're going to get hacked up with either a meat hook, meat cleaver, or some kind of sharp object with the word meat in it, either way it's not going to be pretty.

7. REMEMBER SILVER BULLETS KILL WEREWOLVES AND WOODEN STAKES KILL VAMPIRES

Don't be a fucktard and mix this up. Oh and on a side not if you have to deal with one of those sparkly gay Twilight vampires slap the bitch in the face.

8. REMEMBER TO CHECK YOU'RE AMMO

If you find yourself locked in a house with a horde of zombies trying to beat down you're door make sure you have enough ammunition to get the job done.

9. IF YOU'RE GOING TO EAT SOMEONES LIVER REMEMBER TO EAT IT WITH SOME FAVA BEANS AND A NICE CHIANTI

10. IF YOU'RE BUDDY IS POSSESSED BY DEMONS REMEMBER TO BRING AN OLD PRIEST AND A YOUNG PRIEST

I don't really know why but it sounds like a good idea

(Disclaimer: the above words of wisdom won't guarantee you're ass won't get cut, possessed, or eaten alive. So if the shit hits the fan, don't blame me)

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Gretchen Mol

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Fuck You Friday On Sunday

2010-10-24T18:16:00.000-07:00

Okay so I know I normally do my fuck yous for the week on Friday, but there have been some things that have prevented me from doing so, meh fuck it better late then never I always say. On another and completely different note I hope to have a couple new videos for you guys in a week or two.

First and foremost FUCK YOU to the Asian woman who was practically dry humping the fucking elevator button while yammering away on her cell phone. Okay fucker you stand right in front of the elevator button and fucking bitch in Chinese (I think it was Chinese) about who the fuck knows what to who the fuck cares, but the whole time the elevator's not coming.........why you ask BECAUSE SHE DIDN'T PUSH THE FUCKING BUTTON. So I take the initiative and reach around her to push it, only to have her give me dirty looks like I was going grab her, sorry but I don't plan on wasting my fucking life away while you wait to figure out why the fuck the elevator isn't coming.

FUCK YOU to the slow ass fuckers in the parking garage who couldn't figure out what the fuck they were doing and were driving slower. Really it's a fucking parking lot, here let me break it down on what you need to do. 1. you drive you're sorry ass around until you find a spot to park. 2. YOU FUCKING PARK THE FUCKING CAR. You don't sit in the middle of the way and block it for everyone, and you don't drive so fucking slow I can feel myself age literally. USE THE FUCKING GAS PEDDLE NUMB NUTS.

FUCK YOU to the greasy shit who thought my car was the perfect thing to lean up against and have a smoke. I don't recall the side of my car having a sign that read "Please lean you're slimy ass against this car and be a complete douche bag because you think you're cool. You didn't even fucking bother to move when I showed up to drive away. So since you're too fucking cool to move I simply jumped in and drove away and laughed my fucking ass off when you fell ass first into the street, especially because it happened right in front of a bunch of girls you were checking out. Yeah you're fucking cool asshole next time use a wall to lean up against.

FUCK YOU to the fucker with the little dog who let it yap and bark like it was being fed into a meat grinder. Really you don't know how to discipline you're dog. I COULD HEAR YOU FROM THE 5TH FLOOR. Next time you're dog causes shit, instead of coddling it like a kid put it down and discipline it. Then maybe you won't drive everyone on 5 fucking floors nuts with you're bullshit.

FUCK YOU to the creepy cluster fuck who was giving me the eyeball while walking past me. Do I look like a fucking alien? Is there a third eye growing out of my forehead? If the answer to those is no then don't look at me like I am. Seriously what the fuck is wrong with you, you looked at me like you had a pickle shoved up your ass.

And last but not least FUCK YOU to Telus one of the local cell phone providers here. I go in to get a new phone for a friend of mine and you fuck me over, first you waste my time and then you tell me you can't do shit for me. What the hell are you paid for exactly, you sure as fuck am not eye candy so that narrows down what your skill set is. As of today you are officially on my list of the most useless human being alive, congratulations fuck stick, this honour entitles you to fuck all and to be laughed at on a regular basis.

That is all

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Aki Kawamura

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Resident Evil Nightmare

2010-10-17T11:59:00.000-07:00

It's time for another video kiddies, so grab a blankie and a sandwich and gather round. Being that Halloween is just around the corner I wanted to do something that has a theme that kinda goes with my favorite time of the year (Fuck Christmas). So I did my latest video to the first two Resident Evil movies (Resident Evil 2002 and Resident Evil Apocalypse 2004) to the song Nightmare by Avenged Sevenfold. I thought about originally doing the video to all 4 movies but the second two Resident Evil movies............well kinda sucked in opinion at least, and frankly I'm not into shit that sucks.

Anyways all that being said I hope you enjoy the video. This is also my second attempt at creating a video using Adobe Premier Pro CS3, so I still have a lot to learn about editing with that program. If you want to check out my other videos there all posted below in the bar at the bottom where it says YouTube. Or you can go to my YouTube channel (click here for the link).

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Milla Jovovich

Justin Bieber You're A Limp Dick Raging Homosexual, And Other Famous People I Want To Tell Off Part 2

2010-10-16T13:49:00.000-07:00

Way back in July I wrote a post about things I would say to famous stupid people if I had the opportunity to talk to them face to face. (Click here to see that post) Well since there is no shortage of fucking stupid people, or famous dumb assholes out there and their ridiculous antics, I decided a second post on the matter was the right thing to do.

Here's what I would say to them again.

Kim Jong Il

"First and foremost I want to congratulate you on you're 65th workers party celebration, who would have thought that with starvation, crumbling infastructure, and a highly oppressive regime you fascist fucks would have stayed in power for so long, good job. It's great to see a slimy self centered little fucking psychopath who tries to dress like Yoda trample all those below yourself. Oh let's not forget the massive brainwashing bullshit that you've pulled over you're countries eyes. I fucking love how you claim to be this great leader and you're country is a shit hole, you don't even have enough power to keep the street lights on. And good luck trying to take over South Korea with all that antiquated shit you're armed forces use you fat fuck."

Kim Kardashian

"Dear Miss or Mrs (I don't know or care) Kardashian

Let my start by saying WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO BECOME FAMOUS? I really don't know. I heard you were in Playboy, and I heard something about a sex tape. Simply wow is that all I need to do to get famous is make an "accidental" sex tape that mysteriously gets leaked out into the Internet for every basement dwelling nerd to spank his hobbit too. If that's the case maybe I should make one........on second thought maybe, why because A. I don't fucking want to, and B. I'm not going to result to doing something so stupid to make a name for myself. What the fuck happened to being famous for something notable such as discovering a cure for a disease, or breaking a world record.....you something that was hard as hell but you sucked it up and overcame the challenge. No instead you just spread you're legs and bat you're eyes you fucking twit."

Megan Fox

"I'm not going to lie I like millions of men and women around the globe would love to do the nasty with you. But apart from you're looks and large "assets" you are frankly the most annoying overrated so called actress of the last 20 fucking years. You have no talent, and you sound like you smoke 4 packs of Malboro's a day. What's going to happen when those looks fade and theres not enough makeup or photoshop to touch you up, sure you'll be rich unless you're like many others who've become famous and blew it all on drugs and stupid shit like gold plated toilet seats.........WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A GOLD PLATED TOILET SEAT ANYWAY? Sure I bet it would be awesome to take a crap on an expensive metal, but apart from that it's just ridiculous."

Conrad Black

"Wow simply fucking wow you arrogant prick. I love how you blatantly stole millions, went to some cushy "prison" where you wrote a newspaper column and lectured other "prisoners". Only to get to walk out of jail after a short sentence. First off you should still be in jail and not some resort prison like where you ended up but somewhere like Folsom prison with guys going 25 to life for murder. I'd love to see how you'd survive in there, maybe the Aryan nation will take you in and protect you if you do them a "favour", and by favour I mean be their bitch."

Tyra Banks

"Shut the fuck up you're wasting precious oxygen."

That's it for this post, though I'm positive that will be a part three given that there is a very long list of shit turbines out there.

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Natalie Imbruglia

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Holy Purple Monkey Balls It's Fuck You Friday Time

2010-10-14T21:40:00.000-07:00

Okay so this one is a little early, but hey my blog my rules don't like it go see if you can fly on a bridge. Anyways this week was for the most part pretty reasonable, almost and I quote "normal". Frankly I'm not used to normal or quiet or even peaceful, those just aren't words that pop up in my vocabulary, but this week was for the most part those things if I had to describe it. That doesn't mean however that there was a shortage of fuck tards and assholes. It just means that those few fuck heads went above and beyond the call of duty to be a grade A douche bag. So here we go.

FUCK YOU to the shitty little skunk that almost sprayed me last night. Okay fucker how the hell am I suppose to see you when you're half under some bushes and it's pitch black out because there's no street lights on for some reason. And then when you can see that I've stopped and not coming any closer you insist on walking up to me with you're fucking tail in the air. What do I look like someone who ran over you're mother or something? Fuck you skunk you're mother was probably as big of an asshole as you, she was also probably a whore and let all the stray dogs and cats and probably the odd homeless bum have their way with her. I see you again fucker I'm going to turn you into a hat.

FUCK YOU to the creepy douche bag who was too busy looking at his phone to watch where he was going and stepped on my foot. HOW ABOUT YOU LOOK THE FUCK UP AND WATCH WHERE YOU'RE GOING NUMB NUTS. Last time I checked you don't own the fucking sidewalk.

FUCK YOU to the fat fucking meter maid asshole who gave me a parking ticket the other day when I went to drop my dog off to be boarded for the day. Really you had to give me a ticket, clearly you could see that I was just dropping off my dog since my car was still running and the hazards were on. And you had no problem letting that guy from Canada Post park their last week for half an hour as you walked past eating a chocolate bar. But no you had to be a prick to me, why was it because I was driving a car that's probably nicer then? Was it because I don't look anywhere near as pathetic as you do, or is it because you're trying to make up for the shortfalls in you're life (you're entire life).

I personally love how you sat there with a fucking Mars bar in you're greasy fat mitt of a hand sucking away at it as you tried to be all authoritative with me FUCK YOU COCK KNOCKER you have no authority other then handing out tickets fuck face. Oh and on an extra note I remember you from last month when you gave an elderly woman a parking ticket because she was lost and pulled over to look at her map. Wow what a big man you were that day running over as fast as you could printing up a ticket at the same time, tell me did you're bitch tits hurt from all the bouncing? You couldn't even give her directions when she asked how to get to whatever address, you simply told her "It's not my job pay you're ticket" Not only do you deserve a big fat FUCK YOU but if I see you again pulling shit like that after I publicly humiliate you by kicking you're ass I will do everything I can to let you're superiors know what kind of fucking Nazi glue bag you are.

FUCK YOU to the bearded clam motherfucker who almost ran me over last night. I don't know what part of the world you got you're drivers license from, but in this country you fucking not only look to see if traffic is coming, but you check for pedestrians at the intersection. I don't know if you were perhaps trying to look around that white Escalade that was beside you or you were trying to see the 20 something Asian chick in the passenger seat of that said Esclade either way PAY THE FUCK ATTENTION TO YOU'RE SURROUNDINGS.

Then after you almost ran me over you stare at me in confusion as I yell at you, even that Asian chick was shaking her head and calling you a stupid fuck, but you didn't seem to get it. Seriously if you're that fucking stupid perhaps you should consider not driving a car anymore and stick to public transportation. If it had been a kid instead of me the other night you would have ran them over and probably killed them, and the vibe I got from you is that you would panic and drive away rather then face it and try to help, and that truly scares me.

FUCK YOU to Blockbuster how fucking hard is it to organize you're movies in a way that everyone can find them. Since you renovated you're store I can't find shit other then movies that have 50 fucking copies for rent. The only redeeming quality that makes me come back to you're fucking store is the hot Australian girl who works there (There's something about women with accents). Apart from that you're store pisses me the fuck off......you fail.

Well that's it for this week I've given out all the fuck you's to those deserving.

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Natalie Portman

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Hot Mutant

2010-10-13T18:35:00.000-07:00

Dren played by Delphine Chanéac

Last night I watched the movie Splice, If you havn't seen this movie it's kinda like Species that starred Natasha Henstridge back in the late 90's. If you havn't seen that movie then well you're really right the fuck out of it arn't you, what are you living in a cave in the middle of nowhere? Okay so the story goes something like this. A couple genetic researches decide one day that it would be a totally awsome fucking idea to take some animal and plant DNA and mix it with some human DNA, becuase we all know that nothing possibly could go wrong when you cut and paste DNA all over the fucking place. So they figure out how to do it and BAM giant fucking CHernobly tadpole that grows into a bug eyed chernobyl Butterball turkey, and finally Miss Chernobyl 2010. Of course there are tensions a love interest and some people get killed, you know typical everyday shit.

One thing that kept going through my mind as I watched this movie was "I think I would do that mutant" well that was until she turned into a fucking he and went ape shit, I don't even know how the fuck that happened. But before that when it was a she I think I would tap the mutie if I was in that situation, I mean after all the male lead did, how bad could it be? I mean sure she has a tail with a stinger.......a fucking stinger kinda like what killed the Crocodile Hunter, you know Steve Fucking Irwin. The dude who would yell "Crickey" and leap off the front of a boat to swim after some crocs who sure as fuck did not want his happy ass near them. I mean fuck who is that crazy and or stupid to jump in the water with a fucking crocodile, I mean this is kinda how the guy got killed was swimming around some stingray's and one decides to stab him in the chest with it's stinger. You know I bet he would do the mutant, those aussies are kinda crazy that way. And like the guy in the movie he got stabbed in the chest with the stinger thingy. Of course it was after when she was a he and wanted to have a crack at the female lead (can you really blame he/she/it ?)

Okay i'm getting off topic here, anyways apart from the stinger, she also had some weird fucked up looking legs and sprouted wings now and then, wings would be a plus for sure I mean think how much faster you could get to places...........meh fuck it too much work.

Then I started thinking that this would make a really fucked up episode of Jerry Springer, perhaps the most fucked up in that shows history. I mean think about it I can see the title now "Honey I'm cheating on you with a mutant" I wonder if that would be worse. I think it would be like those guys who get dumped by a girl for another girl and arn't allowed to watch........really fucking sucks by the way happened to a guy I know not me in case you're wondering.

And what would happen if the mutant got pregnat what the fuck would that be like. I mean the good part would be that becuase she grew up like in 50 days you could send it out in the world or to the nearest traveling freak show in 51 days. Think of the thousands you would save on food, clothes, textbooks and toys, that's a small fortune I'm sure. The bad would be that it would want to drive you're car that much faster and be bringing home all the fucked up emo goth kids from school to date. Though it would be able to get a job really quickly catching rats and other small animals that are pests, and that would save a lot of money on food.

Anyways I had a point to this post, but I've forgotten what it is and my head hurts, I'm confused, and I suddenly have a craving for turkey.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Delphine Chanéac not as a mutant

Random Video Of This Post

Shit To Be Thankful For

2010-10-11T17:17:00.000-07:00

The last little while I've been in kind of a negative mood due to things that right now are out of my control. So I wanted to turn things around a little and do something on a more positive note. Being that it's Thanksgiving here (Yes we have Thanksgiving up here in the great white north too fuckers, and no I'm not really sure why but I'm sure it involved lots of ninjas and explosions) I thought I would share some of the things that I'm thankful for.

I"m thankful that we have not been invaded by either of the following:

- Space Nazi Leprechauns
- Giant Radioactive Lobsters In Crotchless Lobster Suits
- A Legion Of Angry Fucking Grannies Obsessed With Matlock
- Alien Justin Bieber's..........oh wait there's already one here FUCK

I'm thankful that even though I've been out of the army for about four years, I can still hit a moving target at 400 meters. This will come in handy for the impending zombie apocalypse. I don't plan on being brain food for those undead fuckers.

I'm thankful that I have KD in the cupboard and clean socks, and if I get really hungry I can combine the two to make a meal.

I'm thankful that being a guy I have a highly developed sense of being able to tune people out when they start to nag and bitch or go on about something pointless like having to walk to some shit hole town to find cornflakes, but they didn't have cornflakes because of the war. So they had to settle for puff wheat or some other shit. Anyways back then gas cost 25 cents a gallon which was good because the car burned 1 mile per gallon. Anyways about those cornflakes, you had to settle for puff wheat because of the war....................yeah I even tuned out what I just wrote there.

I'm thankful that when it rains out here all the tourist fuckers scurry like mice for cover so that I have the entire seawall to myself so I don't have to twist my ankle trying to manoeuvre around all those fat ass mouth breathers.

I'm thankful that I'm not short cause that would fucking suck.

I'm thankful that I don't have a name like "Harry Dick" or "Benjamin Wiener" or "Turd Ferguson". Can you imagine growing up how many times I would have been picked on for having a name like that, it was bad enough having a "normal name".

And last but not least I'm thankful that no matter how much bullshit is thrown my way, no matter how messed up I am and emotional scared I am, or how fucked up things are for me I will not give any fucker the satisfaction of getting the best of me FUCK THAT SHIT.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Katy Perry

Random Video Of This Post

The Cluster Fuck That Is Job Hunting

2010-10-08T19:27:00.000-07:00

Normally I would post my FUCK YOU FRIDAY post today, but I need to vent about something that I've mentioned off and on about, and that's finding work here in Vancouver. WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH THIS CITY.......seriously I love living here because it's right by the ocean, I'm just minutes from the mountains, and there is tonnes to do, but finding work here is fucking impossible. I've never in my life struggled for a year to find a job, only to be rewarded for my time searching with shitty low paying jobs that wouldn't pay me enough to live. And out of the hundreds upon hundreds of jobs that I've applied to only 5 legitimate ones have responded, of those only 1 so far is offering enough pay to make a decent living here (which I'm in the process of trying to get but it's a fairly long process with a good deal of paperwork, and theres no guarantee I'll even get it.)

I've also noticed two disturbing trends out here when it comes to employment opportunities being posted online or other places.

The first is that the wages out here have been going down while the educational and experience requirements have been going up. When I first moved out here last July there were tonnes of jobs offering between 17 to 19 an hour. Now the average is between 8 to 15 (15 for skilled labour). That's not a huge deal until you factor in that Vancouver is one of the most expensive cities in Canada to live in, and that the new HST tax our wonderful provincial government threw at us jacks our taxes up about 6 percent. This means that everything from food to clothes to everything goes up. I've seen my grocery bill go from 55 every week and a half to 85 for the same amount of food......................ARE YOU FUCKING SHITTING ME ? And I thought, and perhaps I could be wrong about this but isn't the minimum wage in B.C around 8.5 an hour, how the fuck can they pay someone 8, isn't paying below minimum wage illegal ?

How the fuck am I suppose to make enough money eat, pay rent, and have money for necessities like soap and toilet paper, let alone have money to have any kind of social life or go on a date with a girl......not that the women in this town want anything to do with me because the majority of them are self centered pretentious snots who are only interested in money and looks.

The second is the amount of people online or in person who are telling me horror stories about shitty employers, denying basic workers rights such as denying lunch breaks, withholding employees wages for no reason and treating their employees like garbage. I've even heard stories of employers firing their employees for no reason other then they know that they can fire somebody and hire another unlucky asshole for less then the person they replaced.

I'm fully aware that right now it's an employers market and they can pick and choose the best people for the positions they need filled, I can't blame them for that because if I ran a company I would only want those who are effective and not complete fucking idiots. That being said the way their conducting themselves is absolute bullshit, and these companies should be ashamed of themselves.

I also hold a special place for the job placement agencies out here. I love how these fucks advertise how they'll help find me work and never call back. I love how I have to call and email them over and over to find out if they even received my resume, only to get the run around by some snotty receptionist who is too pissed off at her own shitty job to do it properly. I love the few times that I actually do get to speak to a recruiter how I tell them all the skills I have only for them to say "Wow you have a lot of really good skills, I'll get back to you right away" only to never hear from them again.

And as for those skills in case you're wondering I have 7 years of experience in the military, in that time I've been responsible for over 8 million dollars worth of armoured vehicles. I've had leadership training, basic combat intelligence training, computer training, unarmed combat training. I've driven fucking near every vehicle in the Canadian forces minus tanks, helicopters, and jets (I'm sure I could at least get a fighter jet off the ground, landing it could be interesting) I can deal with a shitload of stress, I have discipline, I have dress and deportment which means I don't show up looking like a fucking slob, and if given a job I work my ass off. After my time in the military I worked for a phone company and drove a garbage truck so I have skills in those areas too.

On top of that I've been told by those employers that have seen my resume that it was the best they've seen, and even wanted to use it as an example to set the bar for other potential applicants. So what the fuck ?

Frankly my fucking brain hurts so I'm going to put this out there in Internet land, maybe someone out there can suggest something that I haven't tried or know of something that I can do that I haven't thought of. I'm open to all suggestions except for prostituting myself out behind a dumpster or selling smack to hobo's. If you have an idea or suggestion leave it in my comments or fire me off an email ( thewolfsden@live.ca ), I can use all the help I can get and any idea would be a big help.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Holly Robinson Peete

Random Video Of This Post

A Friend In Need

2010-10-04T21:26:00.000-07:00

Okay time to be serious for a change a friend and fellow blogger Gucci Mama is dealing with some painful things right now. Frankly I'm not very good at describing what's going on, I've tried for a little over an hour and....well I'm at a loss for words for a change. Below is a part of her post, I thought her words would describe what's going on better then me.
"I've known Renee a few years. Though I've moved out of state and we haven't seen each other in quite sometime, I just love her. She is sweet and loyal and smart and talented and strong. She is a giver, a fixer, a helper. Her heart is as beautiful as her face. She loves fiercely, she works without ceasing, and she sacrifices without complaint.

And her husband has been diagnosed with a very aggressive cancer. He was the sole breadwinner and is now too sick to work. We all know the state of the economy. We all know how difficult it is to find work and to complicate things for Renee, willing as she is to do whatever she must to keep her family afloat while her husband fights for his life, she homeschools her three children, one of whom is autistic. She's been a homemaker for so many years and when employers have the luxury of choice, as they do now, they are not interested in a woman who's been out of the workforce so long.

They have lost their house. They are currently living in an RV in the parking lot of the hospital where her husband is being treated. Because they have no running water, Renee and her children are going to Sassy's house, which is thankfully close by, week after week to fill buckets and jugs with fresh water. The children are growing rapidly out of their clothes, and the clothes they do have are becoming worn with use.

Right now the hospital is generously allowing them to keep their RV in the parking lot and use their electricity, but this is a temporary solution to what is rapidly becoming a permanent problem. And winter is coming. Montana winters are cruel and long.

The amazing thing about Renee is, she remains hopeful. She finds the good in the midst of this nightmare she faces. She squares her shoulders and raises her chin in the face of this overwhelming adversity even though the stress of this situation must be almost intolerable. She is holding her family together, taking care of her husband, teaching her children, and trying to make a home out of a travel trailer parked in a hospital parking lot while stretching six hundred dollars a month to feed and clothe a family of five."

Anyways the deal is this.....her friend is in dire need of help and she's trying to get her that help through donations on her blog, not just money through Pay Pal but gift certificates or items such as clothing for the family and their kids. Obviously I'm not going to force anyone to donate, times are tough for a lot of people including myself. But if you want and are able to help every bit would make a huge difference in this family's life, frankly they could really use a break right now.

If you want to know more or donate you can visit her blog, it's listed on my blog roll to the right or just click the link here MAMA STILL WEARS GUCCI.

Weekend Shout Out

2010-10-02T20:37:00.000-07:00

It's time again for another shout out to some stuff I thought you'd find interesting. Or at the very least will give you something to look at while you're waiting for that porn you downloaded to finish, you know the one with the cheerleaders and the goat who do things that would only be legal in Mexico and only if the police were bribed a month in advance.

Anyways for this one there are a couple of sites I'm recommending you check out. The first is a relatively new blog that was recommended to me last week called Balls, Beer, And Video Games . While this blog is not even two months old it offers something that is pretty rare in the blogging world.........A GUY'S POINT OF VIEW. In a sea of shitty pointless blogs it's nice to find one from a guy's perspective, and one that doesn't deal with touchy feely inner child shit.

The next site is not a blog or website but a YouTube channel page from a guy who goes by the alias Neckisstiff. I've been a fan of his videos on YouTube for awhile now, and can honestly say they were what inspired me to start making my own. Below are a couple videos he created.

Anyways that's it for this weekend, if you know of or have a site that you want shouted out leave me a comment below or fire me off an email.....but there are some rules.

First you don't get a shout on here if you are already linked up on my blog roll or I have you're button on the sidebar unless you were recommended previously like the blog I first mentioned.

Second if the blog, website, or whatever sucks flaming goat testicles don't send me a link. I mean seriously I won't read or visit the site if it's a site dedicated to how you collect ass hairs and make action figures out of them. It's got to a be topic of thing that is interesting. I mean fuck I'm a guy that means I have a short attention span, shorter patience, and am not amused by pink lace things unless their on some woman who looks like Lucy Liu...............mmmmmmmmmmmmm Lucy Liu.

Third if you're site, blog whatever doesn't suck said goat testicles give me a quick description of what it's about either in the comments or in an email so I kinda know what to expect.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Lucy Liu

(What who else was I going to put up when I mention her)

Fuck You Friday And A Brand Spankin New Video

2010-10-01T13:02:00.000-07:00

First off before I do my FUCK YOU FRIDAY, I wanted to share my latest video. Unlike every other video I made this one I used Adobe Premier Pro (CS3 It's an older program but new to me fuckers) So this one is going to be very different from the previous ones. Anyways I hope you like it, and let me know what you think. Also if you have any ideas for ones leave me a comment below.

And now for FUCK YOU FRIDAY

FUCK YOU To the shit faced cock master who was moving in or out of the apartment building just down the street. You have a tiny fucking jeep, and a tiny fucking trailer with two bright red (but fucking tiny) kayaks on top. So how the fuck do you figure you can park you're tiny fucking jeep with you're tiny fucking trailer sideways on the fucking road. It's already narrow from cars parked NORMALLY on either side. Yet somehow you didn't get the memo to not park LIKE A COMPLETE FUCKING RETARD. You're wife or significant other stood on the sidewalk with a look like somebody used a cock hanger to give her a frontal lobotomy while you're sitting in you're tiny fucking jeep looking like you just raped the neighbors cat.

Here's a news flash ass wipe...ONLY EMERGENCY VEICHLES CAN PARK ANY FUCKING WAY THEY WANT BECAUSE THEIR SAVING THE LIVES OF PEOPLE NOWHERE NEAR AS STUPID AS YOU. And last I checked that tiny fucking jeep is not a fire truck. Oh you get extra dumb ass points for blocking three cars and a garbage truck while you contemplate you're place in the universe.

FUCK YOU to the taxi who rear ended a parked truck tonight. Wow they actually gave you a license, what the fuck were you doing to run into a parked veichle. It was a large pickup truck not a smart car how could you miss it? If you were talking to you're boyfriend on you're cell phone about designer shoes you deserve to have one shoved so far up you're ass you can taste it.

FUCK YOU to the creepy fat fucking mouth breather who kept giving me the evil eye. Yes I was walking behind you asshole, and unlike you I don't waddle like a fucking penguin. I also don't sound like walrus gasping for air when I breathe either. I also was not sneaking up on you to mug or kill you (though the thought did cross my mind) ,so if my walking spooked you TOO FUCKING BAD. And if you're going to stop to make sure I'm not a mugger then move the fuck out of the way so I can navigate around you're humongous ass, seriously it has it's own gravitational pull it's so large.

FUCK YOU to the security guard at the liquor store who was watching my every move. Do I really look like a thief because I'm not a smiling idiot? I came in to buy some beer and or wine, not start a conversation with somebody. Why don't you pay attention to the punk in the corner who looked like he was casing the place to steal something. Oh that's right you were too focused on me, the guy who isn't a thief or a punk but a guy just looking for some booze.

And on another note to you asshole I am twice you're fucking size, do you think that if I wanted to start some shit you would have a prayer.

FUCK YOU to the running asshole who spat on the sidewalk a few feet in front of me. Really you couldn't move over like 2 FUCKING FEET and spit over the railing into the ocean, is that so hard to do that you're scared you'll miss a beat on you're favorite Britney Spears song? No instead you have to share you're germs and spit on the ground where kids play, and other people walk as well as their dogs. I run too asshole and if I have to spit I make dam sure it doesn't go anywhere where somebody could step in it. It's called common courtesy jack ass look it up.

FUCK YOU to the other running asshole who was so important and in such a hurry that you couldn't say "excuse me" so I knew you were coming and could move over while my dog was sniffing another dog. No instead anus taster you have to shove you're way around me and almost step on my dog and almost trip on the other one's leash. Then you get all pissy because I shoved you out of the way into the railing and told you to go fuck yourself. Hey you started it asshole and I don't care how fast you can run I can run faster angry, especially when you call me a "fag" and flip me the bird from 30 feet away. Wow you really impressed me with that ass clown.

There I've said my piece for this Friday. It's been a rather stressful week so if it came off as angry well now you know why.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Elizibeth Banks

Bad Smells, Old People, And Plastic In My Soup

2010-09-29T18:10:00.000-07:00

I thought this morning when I woke up "This is it, the curse is broken" It seems like my whole life odd fucked up annoying things have been an almost constant norm for me. For the last week things however have been for the most part normal, normal enough to make me think that perhaps my life has hit a turning point. Turns out I was way fucking wrong, I think God, or Zeus or whoever runs the show upstairs was on a break trying to bang the receptionist. Either way it's back on in full force.
It started no less then five minutes after I woke. I look outside my window to see what the weather is going to be like only to see some homeless guy leaned up against the dumpster playing with his little hobo for the viewing pleasure of everyone who has an apartment facing into the alley.......fucking awesome I know, just what everyone wants to see at 7 in the morning is some dirty middle aged homeless guy jerking off and talking to himself. I go onto the balcony and tell the fucker to take it somewhere else (preferably somewhere where I will never be)

Thinking the worst is over I go to my friends place to run some errands and go for lunch. I don't know what the fuck died in her building but almost everywhere apart from the front smelt like a combination of vinegar, old man feet, and sweaty ass. But what was really odd was that nobody seemed to notice it, I mean fuck it was so strong it could choke a donkey, it was making my eyes water especially in the parking lot. I'm thinking either people are trying to ignore it OR I FUCKING STINK. After a quick awkward sniff check I concluded it wasn't me. And as bad as it was it disappeared just as quickly. After an hour it was gone.....now I'm being stalked by a ghost that smells like shit, just my luck.

Then it's off for some lunch. We go to some little hole in the wall Chinese restaurant that normally serves pretty good food. Today though somebody I think wanted me dead. I'm almost finished my soup when I almost choke on something hard (get you're mind out of the gutters fuckers I don't swing that way) I spit it out and there is a large chunk of clear plastic sitting on the table. What the fuck plastic are you kidding me, who was the twinkled toed little fuck who thought slipping me some plastic was a great fucking idea. Accident or not those bastards are lucky that I didn't choke on it, and that I know how to do the Heimlich or however it's spelt on myself. And if I couldn't get it out, before I die I would make dam sure at least one of those cooks is gonna die.

It was off to get some grocery's next........WHAT A CLUSTER FUCK. The whole place was packed full of dull eyed zombie assholes staggering around looking for kidney's beans, spinach, and cat food. One thing I've learned when old people go grocery shopping is that they become super aggressive. One old bitch who was close to 90 I'm guessing rammed me three times with her cart even though I couldn't move. She even called me an asshole.....what the fuck? If granny wasn't so old I would have rammed my cart right back into her. And if they weren't hitting me with their cart they would stand right in the middle of the fucking aisle and drool away as they comprehended the fucking price of a can of chicken soup. I mean fuck EITHER GRAB THE FUCKING SOUP OR MOVE ON YOU BROKE DICK FUCK NUT.

And it didn't end once I got out of the grocery store either, a horde of them tried to push their way into the tiny elevator that goes to the parking lot. We all somehow manage to fit, but once we get to our floor, even though they had to get off to they just stand their confused and bitchy. They literally just stood their with this dazed confused glare on their faces. I had enough at this point and fucking snapped. I bash my way passed the fuckers, I don't care how old they were, or frail at this point it was game fucking on, I have patience but not that much fucking patience.

Yeah the gods are up to their bullshit with me as per usual

Random Hottie Of This Post

Rhianna

Random Video Of This Post

Porn VS Real Life

2010-09-27T18:35:00.000-07:00

Okay before I write another thing let's be honest, we have all seen really bad cheesy porn at some point in out lives. If you say you haven't chances are pretty good you're either full of shit, or for some reason worried that others will think you're some sort of pervert. Whacking off outside some girl's bedroom as she's getting changed.......that's perverted, the occasional porn is not (depending on what you're watching)

Getting back on topic here you know those cheesy porn flicks (I know you know what I'm talking about) the ones where some situation that is common place results in two or more and perhaps a donkey getting it on like some freaky monkeys with rabies. Yeah too bad real life sucks dick, and not the way you want it to either fuckers.

So I thought I'd put together a little list of things that happen in porn and compare them to what would probably happen in real life.

The Plumber / Cable Guy (Porn)

Some stunningly hot and very skimpily dressed woman calls a plumber because the sink is jammed, or perhaps she needs the cable installed. She calls a service person. Minutes later so hunky guy shows up, makes some cheesy comments about "laying some pipe" and half ass attempts to fix the woman's sink, or install the cable. All the while she's getting........well excited, this results in them getting their freak on.

The Plumber / Cable Guy (Real Life)

You're toilet clogs up because you gave birth to a shit demon and it won't die. Or perhaps you just moved into a new home and want the cable hooked up so you can order up some pay per view porn. You call up the appropriate service person only to wait for fucking ever to talk to a real person instead of those fucking annoying robot bitches. You finally get through to some ass clown who can barley speak English.

After all that you wait a fucking year for them to show up, when they do is it some hot guy.......NOPE IT'S SOME OLD CREEPY GUY WITH A MASSIVE BEER GUT THAT'S FORCING HIS PANTS DOWN. You shudder in horror ever time you look over to find his ass crack smiling back at you like that fucked up girl from the Exorcist. After an hour of swearing, banging noises, and hacking sounds from his 4 pack a day smoking habit, he tells you that he doesn't have the right part, has to come back later, and it's going to cost you extra................I know fucking awesome.

The Job Interview (Porn)

Some guy goes into an office that strangely looks like somebodies spare bedroom. The boss is a smoking hot woman in a blouse that would rip apart if she sneezed because it's so tight. She tells the guy he "meets all the qualifications" and then proceeds to pounce on him and literally fuck his brains out.

Job Interview (Real Life)

You go to some office tower resume in hand hoping to get a job. You're nervous as hell and the receptionist is looking at you like you enjoy drowning kittens. Finally the interviewer comes to get you. Once in the office they then begin to grill you over all manner of shit related to you're work experience, you're hobbies, and you're goal aspirations.

After about an hour of being uncomfortable, grilled over, and sized up like a piece of fucking meat they tell you you're not qualified for the job and then give it to the next fucker behind you who was busy picking their nose the whole fucking time, but because his daddy and the boss are golfing buddies he gets the job regardless of their skills.

Caught Being A Perv (Porn)

You're at home watching T.V. You look out the window and see the hot M.I.L.F (Mother I'd Like To Fuck in case you don't know what that means) getting undressed in front of a mirror and checking herself out. Naturally you sneak over to her window and start beating the little soldier. After a minute or so she turns around to see you there in all you're glory starring at her. Naturally she becomes aroused and let's you in to get some.

Caught Being A Perv (Real Life)

Everything happens the exact same way as above, only when she turns around she's not impressed by you're sword handling skills........SHE'S FUCKING PISSED AND FREAKED THE FUCK OUT. After some frantic screaming and grabbing anything that will cover her she calls the cops. Obviously she knows who you are so there's really no point in running, their just going to be waiting for you when you have to come back. You get arrested and thrown in jail where some giant black guy named Bunny and some white skin head biker pass you back and forth between their bunks for some "cuddling". At this point you pray for death.

I don't know about you but real life really fucking sucks.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Brandy Grace

Random Video Of This Post

Weekend Site Shout Out

2010-09-25T17:34:00.000-07:00

I'm going to try something a little different on here. Every weekend (Well ever one when I have the time) I'm going to give a little shout out to a blog or website. This site won't be something that's on my blog roll, just something I've found in my random searches that I thought was worthy enough to share with you fuckers. There won't be any criteria or theme apart from it being something that I think you might find interesting.

The first site for this Saturday's shout out goes out to a friend of mine (I know it's not exactly random but it still counts so bite me fuckers) And being that he's helped give me ideas for videos, new editing software, and blog topic ideas it seems like the logical first step. The site JS Johnson Film is dedicated to showcasing his projects as a filmmaker here in Vancouver, upcoming projects, and all manner of stuff related to the film industry.

Here's a clip from one of his previous films.

So go check it out, who knows this fucker could be famous in a couple years. If you have a site or blog you want shouted out leave a link in the comments and a short description of you're site. But before you send me a link there are some rules.

1. If you're already on my blog roll or linked up to my site already then you don't count, this is for new blogs and websites only.

2. It has to be something interesting, I'm pretty open to the topic but if you're site is about how you collect dryer lint all fucking day and turn it into little wood land creatures that you talk to because you're life is sad and every day you pray for death.........don't link up. If I wouldn't read it I sure as fuck am not going to recommend to those who visit here.

That's pretty much it for the rules.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Sarah Chalke

Random Video Of This Post

Fuck You Friday Time

2010-09-24T11:57:00.000-07:00

It's time once again folks for another edition of FUCK YOU FRIDAY. Because I took a little time off last week this one is going to be a little long, I have to cover two weeks worth of things that pissed me off. And while the crazy fucked up antics kinda dwindled down to what could almost pass for a normal routine, there was still enough to fill buckets. So here we go.

FUCK YOU to the guy in the black Audi who loves to shove hampsters up his ass. You friggin moron when the light changes and people are trying to cross the cross walk (namely myself and a retired couple) look both ways before you speed into it. Do you know how fucking close you came to running into all three of us.....oh yeah that's right you were too busy being a stupid fuck and not pay attention to what was going on around you. Well cock jaws you missed me by about 3 or 4 inches, which is probably 2 inches bigger then you're dick you fucking idiot.

FUCK YOU to the one recruiter who thought a great opportunity for employment for me pays only 11 dollars an hour...........I AM NOT 15 YEARS OLD ASS NUGGET. I am 31 now I need to make more then that to be able to eat, live in my apartment, and maybe do something like buy a coffee once in awhile. 11 dollars an hour gives me just enough to either

A. Keep my apartment and starve, have no Internet or phone, or money for anything or
B. Live on the street and be able to eat

Fuck with those options I'll be able to buy a tent and live in Stanley Park, yeah fuck that.

FUCK YOU to the bitch with the IPod shoved up here ass and her face buried in a crackberry. You walk right down the middle of the sidewalk and then when you bump into someone because you're too out of it to realize you should be paying attention, you get snotty and tell me to watch where I'm going. Sorry but it's kinda fucking hard to get out of you're way you;re majesty when I'm surrounded by people and have nowhere to move, so eat a dick and pull you're IPod out of you're ass.

FUCK YOU to the countless waves of aggressive strung out pan handlers who think there's an ATM neon sign above my head. I am not you're fucking bank, I well never be you're fucking bank. And the fact that you're homeless is probably the result of you not saying no to drugs.

FUCK YOU to the skunk that almost sprayed me last week. Hey you furry little fuck why the hate? I was leaving you alone and you stick you're tail up at me like you're going to spray some of that foul shit at me. Fine you want to play that way, let's see you spray me with a boot up you're ass. You're not on the endangered species list so you're fair game asshole.

FUCK YOU to all the fuckers on that big fancy yacht in the harbour the other night when I was taking my dog out for a walk. Do I look like a fucking clown is that why you were laughing at me? Really you're adults so fucking act like it.

FUCK YOU to all the companies that say "We need people to fill positions" and then when I send you my resume I never hear back from you. I also love the fact that you're not only bumping up the required basic skills to get these positions with you're company, but that you're also dropping the wages for those positions as well. Let's see fuck sticks this time last year those jobs you posted were between 17 to 20 an hour, now 15 maximum if you have a degree and 5 years of fucking rocket science experience under you're belt, just so you work at some fish plant cutting fish.

FUCK YOU to the anal retentive sperm dumpster who was trying to have a conversation on you're phone and order some food, but couldn't make up you're mind so instead you just fucking shout business related shit. Last time I checked THE FUCKING UNIVERSE DOES NOT......... I REPEAT DOES NOT REVOLVE AROUND YOU. Shut off you're phone, place you're order, and get the fuck out of my life.

FUCK YOU to the guy who tried to start up a conversation by saying "Wow it's sure wet out today?" when I was running this morning. Really??? No fucking shit Einstein, next you're going to tell me water is made from water......fucking brilliant. Let me make this simple for you to comprehend. If I wanted to talk to you I would have, when I'm running I don't want to talk to you, not unless I'm having a fucking heart attack. I know you were trying to be nice. But don't jump in front of me to talk to me because you feel lonely, let me be asshole.

FUCK YOU to the middle aged woman in the BMW SUV who gave me the evil eye while having her coffee while parked at Blockbuster. What do you think I'm going to steal you're car and possibly rape you or something? Do you want to be raped? Seriously I'm minding my own business returning some movies and you're staring at me like I just killed you're kids or something.

That's all for now have a great weekend. And remember duct tape is the handy man's secret weapon

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jenna Dewan

Random Video Of This Post

New Video Time

2010-09-23T13:06:00.000-07:00

Here's my newest video I wanted to share with you, it's a tribute to The Terminator movies but kind of from the perspective of the terminators and Sky-Net who want to destroy mankind. The song is about the story of Samson and Delilah who betrayed him and was featured in the first episode of the second season of Terminator The Sarah Conner Chronicles. In that episode the terminator sent to protect John Conner suffers a glitch and reverts back to her old program when she tries to kill him so the machines can take over.

It's sung by Shirley Manson the former lead singer of the band Garbage and in my opinion has the sexist fucking singing voice on the planet...........well until the fucking machines try to kill us all in a nuclear holocaust

I'm not big on the whole biblical stuff but I thought the story was interesting here's a link I found if about it in case you're curious http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Samson.

Hope you enjoy the video

Random Hottie Of This Post

Kristanna Loken

New Reality Show Ideas

2010-09-22T18:57:00.000-07:00

I've come to the realization that no matter how much I bitch about these annoying reality shows it looks like their here to stay, I guess I don't have much pull with those ass clown network execs. Since they want to keep these on T.V I thought I would throw out some ideas, to make these shows watchable and a lot more entertaining then the typical high school drama and popularity contests that most of these types of shows tend to be.

Here are my ideas

1. Replace Survivor with Land Mine Island

I got this idea from the show Robot Chicken (Fucking outstanding show by the way), here's my twist on it. Keep the idea of random Joe Blow fuckers going to some scenic tropical paradise. Make them get dirty, eat bugs, throw shit at each other, and bitch about so and so not being a team player or a back stabbing bitch...........but have landmines everywhere. And not you're run of the mill anti-personnel mines but Bouncing Betty's, these are the ones that shoot about a foot or two in the air and then explode. Their soul purpose is to fuck you're shit up but no necessarily kill you, just remove you're legs and balls and make you wish you were dead.

And having mines everywhere keeps it random, you don't know when some jack ass is going to get it. They could be going to the pee tree, or on the way to tribal council........and BAM no legs. Ah I can smell an Emmy.

2. Replace Dancing With The Stars with Dances With Pit Bulls While Covered In Meat

Instead of watching bottom barrel celebs dance and smile like stupid fucks, have them dance in a pit full of starving pit bulls while covered in raw meat. I'd love to see one of those fuckers try to do the waltz while fending off a vicious attack dog.

3. Replace The Apprentice with The Apprentice Gladiator Style

Same idea "The Donald" gathers a bunch of brown nosing ass lickers in expensive suits who compete to work for the worst comb over in the world. But instead of bullshit tasks such as sell ice cream to rich fuckers near Wall Street, or some other shit to raise money for some multi million dollar company, have them square off in an arena. Let them keep their suits and briefcases but give them a knife, sword, or pointy stick and have them fight it out for glory and possibly a job. If both survive the fight throw a fucking lion into the mix.....good times had by all.

4. Replace America's Next Top Model with Make That Skinny Model Bitch Eat A Cheeseburger

For this idea totally scrap the whole model thing, you know the posing, photo shoots, and bitch fests, and what not. Instead take a bunch of skinny bitchy models who won't shut the fuck up, strap them in front of a bench and force feed cheeseburgers down their throat. And not just any burger, but the old fashioned greasy burgers you get at McDonald's, the kind you crave when you have a hangover and no time else. This show would have no winners just wave after wave of these annoying bitches getting force feed until they puke.

5. Replace America's Got Talent with Every Time Howie Mandel Speaks Slap That Bitch

The idea is simple keep the show pretty much the same except that every time Howie Mandel Speaks circus music starts to play and random people walk up and bitch slap that fucker into next week. For the record I hate that creepy bald headed germaphobic anal trucker. This happens for at least two minutes until that fucker is either knocked out, or crying and wetting his panties under that desk, at which point the normal show resumes.

6. Replace Hell's Kitchen with Gordon Ramsey Screaming At Every Living Thing

Okay let's be honest most of those who watch this reality show do so because of Gordon Ramsey going ape shit on the contestants, which by the way is fucking hilarious as hell........well at least to me.

Instead of confining Gordon to just a single kitchen she shows up everywhere. They give that fucker a car and point him in a general direction and let him go nuts for an hour. He could show up at a high school calling cheer leaders "fucking donkeys" or a seniors retirement home yelling at grandma. We don't know where he's going to end up, but you know it's gonna fucking rock.

7. Replace American Idol with a please stand by station signal followed by random static and distorted clips of previous seasons of American Idol, but too distorted to really make out anything.

Think of it like when you were 14 and trying to watch a porn on pay per view and it's all distorted and you might see a green warped boob now and then. The tween's who normally watch this show will be all panicky because they won't know what to do and will spend an hour playing with their T.V's in futile frustration. Then they'll go on Twitter and complain and talk about Twilight or some stupid shit like that.

8. Replace Big Brother with Big Brother In The Hot Box

Take the contestants out of their comfortable cozy house and throw them deep in the jungles of Vietnam or Cambodia at some prison camp like in the Chuck Norris Missing In Action movies (Those are fucking awesome by the way). There they'll be met by Hon, the brutal prison camp commandant who will volunteer them to such wonderful team building games like "fend off starving monkeys with a shoe", and "hey let's make some knock off Niki t-shirts for fat cat American imperialists" I know sounds fun right? And of course dozens of cameras are everywhere capturing everything for you're viewing pleasure.

Of course some might try to escape or fuck up royally and be shoved in a nice tiny metal box in the blistering heat for long hours. I think this might be a good choice to start the summer line up.

That's all the ideas I have for now because my head hurts and I need to poop.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Amy Adams

Random Video Of This Post

Bitch In Training

2010-09-22T00:24:00.000-07:00

Last night I decided to go to Blockbuster to rent some movies. I don't know about other places, but in Canada all the new releases are out on Tuesday...........I know it's fucking non stop action over here with the explosions and full frontal nudity and chainsaw juggling and all. Well okay actually none of that unless you count the fat old guy who lives near my Friend's place and never wears a shirt as hot action (Fucking yuck). It's actually been pretty boring and slow here, which is a nice change of pace from the brushes with crazy fucks and douche bags..........anyways I'm getting off topic here.

So I go in to rent some movies, and after a couple minutes of scratching my head and pondering which movie will make me not want to tear at my eyes with a spoon I pick Robin Hood (The new one that has Russel "I love Twinkies" Crowe in it).

I go up to the counter and am in the process of paying for the movie when out of nowhere this little snot nosed brat runs up behind me and tries to shove me out of the way so she can get her greasy like meat hooks on a candy bar. Failing to move me, she then decides to run over to the gumball machine just in front of me and starts to scream and beg for a gumball at the top of her fucking lungs. It sounded like a fucking banshee on the rag for fucks sake.

I look over to find this hell spawn's mother only to see the stupid bitch twirling her hair and trying to flirt with Mr. Dippy McShitSmear to other guy working the till, and probably the only one of the two of them who would be too fucking timid to scream for help if this scary looking bitch tried to rape him. Not that she was some massive biker chick or anything, her face just looked like a couple of smashed assholes.

I don't know about you guys but when I was a kid I was told that children are seen and not heard.......THIS MEANS THERE QUIET AND FUCKING WELL BEHAVED. If I pulled this kind of crap at her age I got a backhanded bitch slap across the mouth and was told to shut up. You better believe after one or two of those I kept quiet. I'm not saying the kid should be punched out.........but what the fuck why can't she discipline her kid? I may not have kids but I would be embarrassed if mine pulled that.

This isn't the only incident, recently I was at some hole in the wall Chinese noodle place, the kind where they make their own noodles from scratch which is fucking fantastic if you haven't been to one. Just as I'm about to enjoy my meal this woman's baby starts screaming. Instead of the mother taking her baby outside or to the washroom or anywhere where everyone else doesn't have to hear her kid, she sits there and ignores the baby who only screams louder and louder. Ten minutes later after evil glares and several comments from myself, the staff, and other people at the restaurant who only wanted to enjoy their lunch in piece and fucking quiet, the dumb fucking cow takes her baby outside.

I know kids can be difficult to raise, like I said I don't have any of my own but I understand that. But that being said the clerk at Blockbuster isn't you're fucking babysitter, the staff at the restaurant aren't responsible for you're child, and the rest of us have enough shit on our plates to deal with. I think I speak for a lot of people when I say GET A FUCKING CLUE, DISCIPLINE YOU'RE KID, AND STOP BEING A FUCKING DOUCHE BAG.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Kelly Brook

Random Video Of This Post

12 Things I Won't Do For A Klondike Bar

2010-09-20T10:37:00.000-07:00

You've all seen the commercials unless you live in a fucking tree in the Congo and eat grub worms all fucking day, and if that's the case how the hell can you read this....I'm pretty sure the Internet connection in the Congo is crap. Not to mention all the moisture and monkey shit doesn't work well with computers. Anyways getting back on the subject at hand, you those commericals where some guy asks some other random low paid actor would you do (insert stupid thing here) for one of their disgusting hunks of chocolate.

Now if this anonymous commerical guy came up to me and asked what would I do for a Klondike bar apart from punching him in the balls here's a list of other things I would never do for one of these.

1. Spend an hour watching old people fucking

2. Masturbate with a cheese grater and salt

3. Watch a marathon of Pride and Prejudice (including the BBC versions that makes men's eyes bleed)

4. Get in touch with my feminine side and inner child............fuck that my feminine side better make me a sandwich and my inner child better shut the fuck up.

5. Go to a Justin Beiber concert and try to actually enjoy his "music"..........there isn't enough money in the world to get me to do that.

6. Change my name to Stan. Seriously doesn't that name sound creepy, like "Hi kids I live in a van down by the river and wear a trench coat all day. Do you want to come to my van and see my puppy?".....yeah fucking creepy.

7. Go on a reality T.V. show, I don't give a monkey's testicle if there giving a million dollars if you win, it ain't gonna happen. I can't stand those shows so why would I want to be stuck with those wannabe actors. They seriously make me want to rip my eyes out with a pair of tweezers.

8. Go on a date with Paris Hilton, I don't care if she could suck a golf ball through a garden hose THAT BITCH IS BRAIN DEAD.

9. Wear spandex, sorry it just looks gay not gonna happen.

10. Wear a crotchless lobster suit and do the robot on a busy street corner.........I don't think I need to scare the children.

11. Cover myself in honey and declare myself the lizard king

12. And finally go on T.V and do one of those fucking stupid "What would yo do for a Klondike bar?" commercials. Seriously how fucking desperate do they think I am? I mean seriously they cost what a dollar, why wouldn't I just get my happy ass over to a corner store and BUY ONE........fucking assholes.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Summer Glau

Random Video Of This Post

On a completely different note, hope you like the changes I made on here I figured it was time to give this blog an upgrade.

Words Of Wisdom From The Wolf

2010-09-14T18:49:00.000-07:00

I thought in this post I would share some of the wonderfully useful things that I've learned, either from first hand experience or from the antics of those close to me (I'll leave you to guess which ones I did)

If you're going on a date and you're date asks you if her dress/pants/whatever makes her ass look big, don't respond by saying "You're ass looks like 120 lbs of chewed bubble gum"

Text messaging and hand grenades don't mix.

I don't care how drunk you are, setting yourself on fire is never a smart move.

If somebody sets themselves on fire, or falls into a bonfire, make sure you take off anything that's made of fleece before you save their ass.

If you're going to tell a guy who's twice you're size that he should go home and have sexual relations with their cousin, brother, or mother........make sure you know how to fight first.

Never piss in the wind

Never piss on an electric fence

Never piss on someone who's taking a piss on an electric fence

Rockin out to MC Hammer in a Ford Topaz is never fucking cool, especially if you're white.

Though it may seem like a good idea at the time to save on laundry detergent.........NEVER turn you're underwear inside out to get a few more days use out of them, especially if there's some ass chocolate left on them.

Calling 9-1-1 to get directions to an adult video store is not considered an emergency.

If you're in the woods and a pissed off bear comes running after you, make sure you have a friend nearby so you can break their knee caps to escape.

When you get married you loose you're balls, you're sense of opinion, and you're soul. When you get divorced you don't always get these back

When the shit hits the fan, it's a good idea to have a rain coat and umbrella handy.

Just because people in beer commericals are having a good time, doesn't mean that when you crack open a cold one that hot women will surround you and want to party. You'll just end up getting drunk, sad, and Helga the one eyed bridge troll might take you home. Then when you wake up in the morning and see Helga, you'll have the urge to mix you're coffee with Drano.

Running from the cops is never a smart move for you, but fucking hilarious for those who are watching.

If you own a shitty car, don't make it worse by making you're own spoiler out of plywood and bookshelf brackets. This will not only do absolutely nothing to the performance of you're piece of shit car, it may in fact make it slower. But also everybody will laugh at you're pathetic attempt at customizing you're car.

Duct tape can be used for anything......and I mean anything.

If you think David Hasselhoff is a talented artist, you are seriously fucked in the head. If you think Britney Spears is an awesome singer, please bitch slap yourself. And if you're a fan of Justin Beiber, please play in traffic, preferably at a busy intersection and with a bus.

If you're happy and you know it GO FUCK YOURSELF.

There are only two occasions when it's a good idea to wear a Montreal Canadians jersey, in Montreal, and when their playing another team. If there not playing and you show up in their jersey, you deserve to be kicked in the junk.

The bigger the truck the smaller their penis is, and the greater the chance that they secretly love pink lacey underwear.

The first rule of anything is NEVER GET CAUGHT. If you get caught DENY DENY DENY, if that fails keep a shovel and some garbage bags in the trunk.

Vick's vapour rub does not feel good on you're balls. It's also highly not recommended to be used with a maxi pad to treat second degree burns. (Don't ask)

A vending machine does not make a good surf board.

NEVER EVER tell the cops that you have a dead hooker stuffed in a carpet back at you're place.

And that's all I have to say about that

Random Hottie Of This Post

Katherine Heigl

Random Video Of This Post

New Video Time

2010-09-12T17:56:00.000-07:00

Don't really have a whole lot to say in this post just wanted to share the latest video I made. The song is a remixed version of Wanted Dead Or Alive remixed by Bon Jovi on the CD This Left Feels Right. The movie (In case you didn't know from the title) is Tombstone. One of the best westerns made in a long time, and a million times better then the shitty Kevin Costner movie Wyatt Earp which came out a year before (1994 I think), Either way Kevin Costner sucks hairy goat balls and I want to punch that fucker in the face, I'm not even sure why but I feel that it's required.

Anyways hope you like and let me know what you think. Also if you haven't seen my other videos check out my YouTube channel. Also if you have an idea for one let me know.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Danica Patrick

And Now Another Edition Of Fuck You Friday

2010-09-10T10:59:00.000-07:00

It's that time once again folks, that special time when the weekend is about to begin. And that means it's timeto vent all the garbage and bullshit from this week. So without further delay here we go........enjoy.

FUCK YOU to the piss ant squirrel chipmunk or flying fucking monkey for shitting on me from a tree when I was going for a run. Because of you I am going to make it my mission to run each and every one of you little furry bastards over with a car, you fuckers are evil and I'm going to take great pleasure in squishing you're cute little faces under a car tire.

FUCK YOU to the mother with a screaming kid the other day when I went out for lunch. Really you're going to let you're kid scream at the top of their lungs while others are trying to enjoy their lunch and YOU'RE NOT GOING TO DO A FUCKING THING ABOUT IT. Wow I can see you're really trying for that parent of the year award. Next time you're little demon spawn starts yelling shit in tongues TAKE THE FUCKER OUTSIDE AND SHUT HIM THE FUCK UP.

FUCK YOU to the creepy older guy who wouldn't stop starring at me when I was running yesterday. Do I fucking look like Pamela Anderson running on the beach slowly letting my blond hair flow in the breeze to the sound of the Baywatch theme song. NO I DO FUCKING NOT, nor will I be willing to undergo any type of operation to fulfill you're fantasy you sick fuck.

FUCK YOU to the crooked ass licker who parked so close to my car I almost couldn't get out. Are you that clueless that there is a car behind you, or do you just not give a flying fuck. If there wasn't a cop parked across the street I would have given that new BMW of yours some racing stripes with my car keys. And we all know racing stripes make any car faster.

FUCK YOU to the homeless guy who thought it would be a wonderful fucking idea to throw beer bottles at cars at 2 fucking am...............WHAT THE FUCK IS YOU'RE MAJOR MALFUNCTION NUMB NUTS, oh wait that's right you're homeless and probably coming of a crack high and are angry because you have to go back to panhandling and sucking cock behind a dumpster for spare change. Sucks to be you asshole.

FUCK YOU to the bitch who let the side door at the local mall almost hit me in the face. Really are you that fucking special that you can't hold a door for two precious seconds. My hands were full of groceries and they were fucking heavy, but instead you were too busy being a stuck up cow and too important to think about anyone else other then yourself.............I hope you get crabs and those crabs have herpes which means you'll have crabs and herpes and their all gonna laugh at you.

FUCK YOU to the spaced out shit turbine on roller blades reenacting you're favorite scenes from stars on ice in the middle of the fucking road. Really you want to dance, I'm cool with that BUT GET THE FUCK OUT OF THE WAY OF TRAFFIC. Otherwise you can dance on somebodies windshield fucker.

There I have said my peace

Random Hottie Of This Post

Grace Park

Random Video Of This Post

Book Burning

2010-09-08T08:05:00.000-07:00

I was reading on MSN this yesterday about a church that is going to be hosting a book burning of the Koran (Qur'an) down in Florida (Click here for the article) My question is this, why are people so fucking stupid? It's crap like this that leaves me with little to no faith on organized religion. But before you think this is a "Let's bash Christianity" rant it's not. Like I said in a previous post about religion (Click here to see it) I have no problem with religion, Christian, Muslim, Buddhist, or the guys who think Jesus is an alien hiding behind the sun I don't care so long as you don't try to force you're belief on me it's all good.

That being said when I read this article I was fucking disgusted. First off what has burning books proved other then the people burning them are ignorant dumb fucks, so you don't like their beliefs and you think it's all a load of bullshit, fair enough. That's no excuse to burn books and insult another belief system. I bet these would be the same assholes crying foul if somebody took a truck load of Bibles and set them on fire on their front lawn. Of course these are the same type of people who thought that to cure witchcraft meant turning someone into a human match, good times had by all I assure you.

And people wonder why people in the Islamic world hate the west and America, it's boneheaded, ignorant and completely fucking ridiculous antics that are a slap in the face of the customs and beliefs of others, all because Allah is God spelt differently. Let's be honest both religions came from about the same part of the world, at about the same time, and include a lot of the same people and basic ideals.....and yet they can't seem to figure it out........WOW.

But the Muslims aren't getting a free fucking pass here either, YOU ASSHOLES NEED TO CHILL THE FUCK OUT. First off you scream "Death to America" and "The west is Satan" and other things along those lines and you wonder why we think you're a bunch of fucking nut jobs stuck in the dark ages. Here's an idea, take a deep breath pop a fuckin Xanex and chill the fuck out. Like those here in the west we have different beliefs and views on shit DEAL WITH IT AND MOVE THE FUCK ON.

I understand this is a big fucking insult to you're religion I've read some of the Koran and worked with Muslims so I have a basic understanding of you're faith (Very basic), but really it's one pathetic limp dick preacher trying to make a name for themselves. And just like those who bash other's blogs or leave high school shit comments on YouTube about somebody's video being gay and stupid it's all to get attention because mommy and daddy didn't love them enough and buy them a brand new fucking car for their sweet 16 birthday party. This preacher can't get attention by doing something noble such as raise money for the poor or help abused kids, so they have to resort to this crap. And like those shitty comments you should just grow the fuck up and ignore them not declare a fucking jihad and cut somebody's head off on TV.

How about we try something new, we all say a big collective FUCK IT and grow the fuck up and put this stupid religious fanatical crap aside and at least try to treat each other like human beings. I think that's maybe what all the world's religions fundamentally would want us to do anyway.

Random Hottie Of This Post

Monica Bellucci

Random Video Of This Post

Dating Sites

2010-09-05T19:15:00.000-07:00

This weekend I've been house and dog sitting for a friend while they get to go off and do whatever the fuck it is they do. Hell for all I know they could be working for the CIA selling smack to Nazi's for all I know. This means that I get to use their big screen TV for ~~PORN~~ watching TV and movies. When I haven't been watching zombie flicks I've been catching up on Family Guy and other shows I haven't seen in months because I don't own or plan on owning a TV again, but there's been something that's really been bugging me more then the usual crap they show, and that's the constant bombardment of fucking dating sites being advertised.

Is it honestly so fucking bad to be single that this has to be shoved down our visual gullets and make us all depressed because were alone? And it's pretty much all bullshit, take those online dating sites for example. They show clips of happy attractive people doing happy attractive things while they talk about how if you join up you can find true love. But what if you're not a twenty or thirty something, well they even show a couple clips of older attractive happy people riding bikes or walking on the beach, A WHOLE LOT OF HAPPY BULLSHIT. The reality is while there are normal people looking for something real and legit, it's pretty much an online pub. If you're a woman you get wave after wave of assholes who are greasy, full of themselves trying their best pick up lines or emailing you pics of their junk. If you're a guy you send out message after message only to be rejected time and time again. It doesn't matter how good you look, or how nice you are, because all the greasy assholes have been firing off messages one after another.

Then you have the ads for the chat line dating sites, these ones really piss me the fuck off. These usually involve some chick in skimpy clothes with a big rack dancing around, or lying on a bed in the same skimpy clothes or lingerie and having a fake conversation into a telephone while smiling like a fucking idiot. How much you want to bet that bitch is ordering pizza on that phone? Then she tells you that you can have loads of fun and talk to "real people" for only 9.99 a minute. Of course to entice the ladies they usually have some buff hairless dude with wavy hair giving the same speal but usually in less words (Because it's all about the T & A not schlong)

Now I'm not a rocket scientist or astro re-fuckulator matician but I'm willing to bet the chance of talking to that hot blond woman or some other equally hot woman is slim to fucking none. Chances are good she'll probably look like a toad, or be completely fucking mentally unhinged (Think Glen Close from Fatal Attraction kinda unhinged) Either way it leads to a big fucking disappointment except for those making the money on the poor suckers who call these sites.

Did I mention I hate TV

Random Hottie Of This Post

Jamie Pressly

Random Video Of This Post

It's A Bird It's A Plane........No Monkey Nuts It's Fuck You Friday

2010-09-02T22:10:00.000-07:00

Once again it's that time of the week. That special time when the weekend is about to begin, you'll probably hit some bar, maybe have a drink or two or twelve. Then perhaps try you're luck on some loose women only to wake up the next morning either hugging a public toilet at a bus stop, or you'll wake up beside Helga the one eyed bridge troll and ask yourself "Did I just do what I think I just did? Is there enough bleach to make my soul clean?"

But seriously who are we kidding here you and I both know that you'll spend it alone drooling over the ladies in the Sears Catalog and drinking Tang the drink of astronauts. That being said remember to get over to Gucci Mamma who is hosting this weeks Blog Stalk Friday and Fawk You Friday Hosted by Boobies Babies and a blog, so check that shit out (obviously AFTER you read mine)

So here we go;

FUCK YOU To the arthritis in both my knees. You think that grinding sensation that feels like a fucking screw driver is scraping away at the inside of my knee cap gives me wood. It sucks horse dink, that being said I refuse to let that crap slow me down.

FUCK YOU To the running douche bag who was too concerned to miss a beat to some Marky Mark to run around me and my dog when my dog was playing with a puppy. Instead you fucking jump over them like a horse? It's a dam good thing my dog is very calm and didn't get spooked, or that the puppy didn't get spooked because if you had landed on one of them they would be dead......AND THEN YOU WOULD BE DEAD BECAUSE I WOULD DROWN YOU'RE STUPID ASS IN THE OCEAN. Chill the fuck out slow down or go around, you might actually burn more calories by going just a few feet over numb nuts.

FUCK YOU To the homeless guy tonight who thought the middle of the stairs out in front of the Olympic cauldron was a great place to spend five minutes spitting up shit from you're meth habit. Way to go asshole nothing spells love like spitting you're germs near kids and people just trying to get around you. If you needed to spit that fucking badly WALK TEN FEET AND SPIT IN THE OCEAN NOT WHERE PEOPLE WALK.

FUCK YOU To the guy who stopped in front of the parking lot and blocked 3 or 4 cars because you had to answer you're cell phone. Now this one didn't happen to me but seriously you had to block people right in the middle of the street, right in front of the gate to the underground parkade because you're cell phone rang.....WHO THE FUCK WAS IT YOU'RE BOYFRIEND ASSHOLE. You seriously couldn't have driven TWENTY FEET and parked by the sidewalk completely out of the way?

FUCK YOU To the Humpty Dumpty mother fucker who had to walk right in the middle of the road. Hey fatty are you on glue? Get you're ass on the sidewalk and keep it there so cars can get around you especially the one I was driving. Seriously if I wasn't concerned about how large of a fucking dent you would have left in the hood I would have ran you're ass over.

FUCK YOU To the Blockbuster close to where I live. Yes I understand you needed to do renovations and the place looks much better on the inside, there's just one little tiny problem. THE WAY YOU RE-ORGANIZED THE SHELVES MEANS I CAN'T FIND A SINGLE FUCKING NEW RELEASE.....these are movies not fucking buried treasure and no you are not a pirate (at least the kind that wears an eye patch and knows how to sail)

Overall it was actually a pretty decent week

Random Hottie Of This Post

Christina Ricci

Yes I know I posted one of her pics on my last post. But hey that pic didn't turn out so well, so here's a clearer one.

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